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Der Riese/Quotes

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This article is a list of quotes from the fourth Zombies map Der Riese.

Tank DempseyEdit

"Now that's what I call blowing chunks!"
— After getting a headshot.
"Enough already!"
— After killing a zombie that recently hit him
"Bring it, freak bags!"
— Unknown, possibly random while killing zombies
"They're swarming! Look out!"
— Unknown, possibly random while fighting a large group of zombies
"Hi I'm Dempsey, and you are... DEAD!"
— After killing a zombie
"K.I.A., Maggot sack!"
— After killing a zombie
"Oorah! They're droppin' like bad habits!"
— After killing a zombie
"You meatheads too stupid to quit?"
— After killing a zombie
"Aww, look, I just saved everyone's knees, I'm a hero!"
— After killing a crawler
"I told you, I wasn't on the menu!"
— After killing a zombie that hit him
"Hey, we need a clean up in aisle 4!"
— After killing many zombies
"HOLY SHIT! Just how much bad-ass is there around here anyway?"
— Said after getting zombies with the Monkey Bomb.
"Just what we need, a cluttered battlefield."
— After killing many zombies
"Suck it!"
— After killing many zombies
"This just in, Dempsey is a fuckin' bad ass!"
— After killing many zombies
"I'm surrounded! Bring it mother-fuckers!"
— After being surrounded by zombies
"That was SWEET!"
— After a group of zombies get blown up
"Smells like Zom-B-Q!"
— After lighting a group of zombies on fire
"Can't touch this!"
— After knifing a zombie. (A reference to M.C. Hammer's U Can't Touch This)
"Eat it, gut bags!"
— After knifing a zombie
"Go eat someone else!"
— After knifing a zombie
"Slice and Dice baby!"
— After knifing a zombie with the Bowie Knife
"OWNED!"
— After knifing a zombie or getting a headshot at close range
"Hey! Someone needs to clean up those freak bits!"
— After getting a headshot, or blowing up many zombies
"I don't think it was using that anyway."
— After getting a headshot
"Yeah! I had my eyes closed that time!"
— After getting a headshot
"Freak-meat-bag-sackers!!!"
— After getting a kill streak
"I'll swim in your skin, maggot-whores!"
— After getting a knife streak
"Oorah, Oorah, Oorah, OORAH!"
— After getting a knife streak
"Awesome! Bzzzzt!"
— After getting multiple kills from the Wunderwaffe DG-2
"Everything burns!"
— After burning zombies with the M2 Flamethrower. Possibly a reference to the film "The Dark Knight". This line was said by the Joker.
"Shock and Awe!"
— After killing many zombies with the Wunderwaffe DG-3 JZ. A reference to the Call of Duty 4 campaign level
"I'm gonna miss that little guy."
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"Oorah, Monkey bones!"
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"Oorah, Slackjaw sauce comin' up!"
— After getting a automatic weapon
"See that little guy light 'em up!"
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"Bullets to the brain. Oorah."
— After getting a headshot
"Go join your legs."
— said after killing a crawler.
"Oorah! Don't fuck with a marine!"
— said after getting a knife kill.

"What are the Krauts gonna think of next?!"
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"World's best weapon, world's finest soldier."
— After getting a powerful weapon
"Aww...isn't that so fucking cute?"
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"I never win anything, except for WAR!"
— After not getting anything good from the box.
"Hey look, it's Richtofen's brother."
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"Monkey see, monkey go blow some shit up."
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"Time to gut these brainbags!"
— After getting the Bowie Knife
"Time to slice and dice!"
— After getting the Bowie Knife
"Oh yeah, now it's gonna get personal!"
— After getting the Bowie Knife
"L'eggo my Wonder Waffle!"
— After getting the Wunderwaffe DG-2. A reference to the company Kellogg's company slogan, "L'eggo My Eggo".
"Time to shock some meatbag ass!"
— After getting the Wunderwaffe DG-2
"Blowin' off limbs is one of my specialties!"
— After getting a shotgun
"Nothing says "I love you" quite like a shotgun."
— After getting a shotgun
"Get the marshmallows, I'll light the fire!"
— After getting the M2 Flamethrower
"Looks like Santa got my letter."
— After getting the Ray Gun
"Where's this thing keep 160 rounds?"
— After getting the Ray Gun
"You won't be giggling when I get through with you!"
— After getting the Teddy Bear out of the Mystery Box
"A big toy for a big boy!"
— After getting a machine gun
"*Crazed Laughter*"
— After getting a heavy weapon out of the Mystery Box
"Time to rip shit up!"
— After getting the MG42
"Gotta round up some rounds..."
— After being low on/having no ammunition
"I can't do my job if I ain't packin' heat!"
— After being low on/having no ammunition
"SHIT! Outta gun juice"
— After running out of ammunition.
"FUCK! Can't blow shit up without ammo!"
— After running out of ammunition.
"You laughing at me? Not wise."
— After getting the Teddy Bear
"They're going down. One. Limb. At a time."
— After getting the Shotgun
"Rat-a-tat-tat meat sacks!"
— After getting a heavy machine gun.
"Boiling zombie brains coming right up!"
— After getting the flamethrower.
"You undead punks feeling lucky?"
— After getting the .357 Magnum. A reference to Clint Eastwood in Dirty Harry
"Now I've got somethin' fun to bring to the party!"
— After getting an MG from the Mystery Box
"If I had a good weapon I'd blow this box up."
— After receiving the Molotov Cocktail from the Mystery Box

"JUUUIIICE!"
— After getting a Max Ammo power-up
"Much appreciated!"
— After getting a Max Ammo power-up
"Line 'em up!"
— After getting a Double Points power-up
"Rack 'em up!"
— After getting a Double Points power-up
"Oorah! (Demonic tone)"
— After getting the Carpenter power-up
"Oorah, devil man!"
— After getting the Carpenter power-up
"Dempsey's butcher shop is open for business!"
— After getting the Insta-Kill power-up

"I wonder how we can get to that..."
— After approaching the unopened Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Mmm, Pack-a-Punch. Must be named after me!"
— After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Pack-a-punch. Reminds me of a sweet chick I knew once! Heh heh."
— After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"This machine belongs in AWESOMETOWN!"
— After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"This German shit is slower than a freakbag tied to a tree!"
— After using the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Gotta link up this terra..er, tele... bah... machine."
— After approaching a deactivated Teleporter
"Where's that mainframe again?"
— After approaching a deactivated Teleporter
"Anybody ever hear of a "Die Glocke"?"
— After approaching a Teleporter
"I think Richtofen knows more about what's going on than it seems..."
— After approaching a Teleporter
"Yah! I'm always into Jugg-a-nog [sic]."
— After getting Juggernog
"Livin' the fast life, that's the way I roll. "
— After getting Speed Cola
"Yeah, I'm real thirsty partner..."
— After drinking Double Tap Root Beer
"I fucking HATE fish!"
— After drinking the Quick Revive Soda
"*singing* I'll be drinking Jugg-er-nog tonight and uh *stops singing* I can totally get inside that chick."
— Randomly, mostly when upgrading a weapon
"I'm makin' some freak-meat stew! Who wants some?"
— After taking an upgraded weapon in the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"That's what I need... more fucking firepower!"
— After taking an upgraded weapon in the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Oorah Pack a Punch! Where's that dead meat?"
— After taking an upgraded weapon in the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"Oorah, Takeo!"
— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Woah, crawler, courtesy of our Bushido warrior!"
— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Hey Takeo, you missed part of it!"
— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Takeo! Knee biter, comin' in!"
— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Nice work Takeo, but you got a little left here to kill!"
— When Takeo makes a crawler
"Poor Richtofen! Surrounded by his own creations!"
— When Richtofen is swarmed
"Hey Richtofen! Are you having a family reunion?"
— When Richtofen is swarmed
"Richtofen's surrounded. Poor little Kraut."
— When Richtofen is swarmed

"Couldn't live without me, huh?"
— After being revived
"I must have slipped, oorah.'"
— After being revived
"What the Hell were they looking for?"
— When approaching a chalkboard
"Hey Richtofen, what does all this shit mean?"
— After approaching a chalkboard.
"Let's get this done..."
— Unknown, possibly when starting a game
"Imagine that! We need to turn the power on; how original!"
— Starting a game
"Ah, shit, here come the dogs!"
— Before a Hellhound round starts
"Shouldn't you guys be on a leash?"
— Before a Hellhound round starts
"When I find your master, I'm kicking his ass!"
— Before a Hellhound round starts
"*sigh* These Wonder-Waffles [sic], Ray Guns, teleporters, Die Glockes, uhh, whatever, let's just go kill some freak bags."
— Randomly
"Freakdogs! Bring it on!"
— Before a Hellhound round starts
"Richtofen, stop humping the monkey toy!"
— When Richtofen is about to throw the monkey bomb
"Who's this 'Doctor Maxis' I keep hearing about?"
— Sometimes said when activating the radio in the spawn area

Nikolai Belinski Edit

"Even drunk, I'm too strong for you."
— Randomly while killing a zombie
"So much death, so quickly, like Eastern Front all over again!"
— After killing a large number of zombies
"FUCK YOU!"
— Randomly while killing a zombie
"Only man and wife should be so close!"
— After killing a zombie that has hit him
"Your touch is cold, mine is deadly!"
— After knifing a zombie that has hit him.
"And the limbs go flying! Hows that for an ARM-y?! Get it? With the arms? Fuck you."
— After dismembering a zombie's arm
"Look, I just made a new pet. I'll take it for a walk for about 5 minutes while the rest of you dick around."
— After making a crawling zombie
"Now we're BOTH legless!"
— After blowing a zombie's legs off.
"Die, Hell-pig!"
— After knifing a zombie
"Good, that fucking song was driving me nuts!"
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"Ha Ha, you just got fucked by a monkey!!"
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"*Grunt*...Did I just do that?"
— After getting a headshot
"I was on fire once, it was not fun."
— Killing zombies with the M2 Flamethrower
"Nikolai likes his bacon crispy."
— Killing zombies with the M2 Flamethrower
"This is a happy massacre!"
— After killing a large amount of zombies

"Those should be mine, you Japanese pig!"
— After witnessing Takeo get the monkey bomb.
"Ah, the same weapon I used to kill my third wife! She was bitch!"
— After getting a M1897 Trench Gun or Double-Barreled shotgun
"Death is inevitable, like hangovers, I know."
— When getting a shotgun
"Even I can hit something with this!"
— After getting the FG-42
"Same weapon I used to kill my second wife. It was accident!... She talked too much."
— After getting the PTRS-41 or the PPSh-41
"I had more powerful weapons on my pig farm!"
— After getting a Molotov Cocktail
"This will hurt like syphilis. Believe me, I know."
— After getting an automatic weapon
"That's a big fucking knife!"
— After getting the Bowie knife
"Someone is not sharing their ammo..."
— After running low on/out of ammunition
"Don't make me fight with broken vodka bottle!"
— After running low on/out of ammunition
"Soviet war machine grind to halt without ammo!"
— After running low on/out of ammunition
"I have vodka, BUT NO FUCKING AMMO!"
— After running low on/out of ammunition
"I feel empty... SHIT! I AM EMPTY!"
— After running out of ammo
"In Russia, I kill bears TEN TIMES your size!"
— After getting a teddy bear
"Ha ha, you make funny joke..."
— After getting a teddy bear
"Cold, hard, Russian steel!"
— After receiving the Bowie Knife.
"Where is ammo? Nikolai is in deep shit!"
— When out of ammunition
"My first wife was more dangerous than this!"
— After obtaining a low power gun from the Mystery Box
"This... Soviet... is... complete!"
— After Pack-a-Punching a Wonder Weapon.

"I'm boarding all the windows. Don't help or anything!"
— After getting a Carpenter power-up
"I used to be a carpenter, you know."
— After getting a Carpenter power-up
"I'll drink to that! Hell, I'll drink to anything!"
— After getting Double Points.
"I've got the hammer. Go find me a sickle."
— After getting a Carpenter power-up (A reference to the Soviet insignia)
"Maybe I will share these points with State!"
— After getting a Double-Points power-up
"Points?! I'm trying to stay alive!"
— After getting a Double-Points power-up on later rounds
"Soviet supply routes, they're not this good."
— After getting the Max Ammo power-up.

"It's a distillery!...Oh, no, it's just a teleporter."
— After approaching a deactivated Teleporter
"So now I have to run all the way back to the mainframe to link it... so much fucking running!"
— After activating a Teleporter
"If this were Russian, there wouldn't be so much running around. You would press ONE button, and it would work."
— After linking a Teleporter to the mainframe
"Ugh, I feel like I will throw up..."
— After using a Teleporter
"Balls, check. Vodka, check. Okay I'm good."
— After using a Teleporter
"Ugh, that vodka was terrible. Oh wait, I teleported!"
— After using a Teleporter
"Why didn't they spend their money on a Vodka Transfer machine?"
— After linking a Teleporter to the mainframe
"Hello? Can someone open this door so I can get to the cool gadgets?"
— After approaching an unopened Pack-a-Punch Machine
"It looks like it pollishes huge balls, so you bastards would have no use for it! Haha! Because you have no balls!"
— After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Pack-a-punch? Oh my God, I think it makes vodka!"
— After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Wow... I gotta take this back for the boss to see."
— After approaching the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Urgh! This is worst vodka I ever taste."
— After getting Juggernog
"With this speed, I have more time to drink between kills, eh?"
— After drinking Speed Cola
"Do I really want to help anyone else?"
— After buying Quick Revive
"Thank you, comrade cowboy."
— After buying Double Tap Root Beer

"Use it wisely Tank. Use it wisely."
— After Tank Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb
"That a new pet, American?"
— When Tank Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb or when he makes a crawler
"How come you always get the good guns, and I get the Colt?"
— After witnessing Tank Dempsey getting a good gun
"You're almost as brave as me, Dempsey."
— After witnessing Tank Dempsey running through a group of zombies
"You're killing them, I'm killing them. Even fucking Doc is killing them! Takeo?"
— Said randomly
"Did someone make joke?"
— After witnessing someone get the Teddy Bear
"I share your disgust for our stumpy little nemesises. Nemes-ises... uh, enemies."
— After seeing Dempsey make a crawler
"Perhaps you are of use."
— After getting revived
"Looks like Takeo shit his pants again, heh heh."
— Nikolai after Takeo remarks about killing a lot of zombies.
"Oorah! The Marines Dempsey!"
— After Tank remarks about getting a large killstreak
"Right here with you Tank!"
— After Tank asks where everyone else is
"You have no fear Dempsey. Like me!"
— After Tank remarks about getting a large killstreak

"I need a fucking perk. Let's go find the power ."
— At the beginning of the game
"No power! Just like home!"
— At the beginning of a game
"The air hangs heavy with stench of dog shit."
— At the start of a hellround
"I need more money first, why do we not share the points?"
— After trying to buy something without enough points
"What the hell are you doing here you creepy fucks?"
— At the beginning of the game
"I'm out of ammo! I'm going for a drink."
— When out of ammo
"You hurt me, I KILL you!"
— After killing a Zombie that just hit him
"Stay away from my Vodka!"
— At the beginning of the Hellhound round
"FUCK! They're between me and my vodka!"
— After noticing a large group of zombies near him
"Zombies! We gotta move!"
— After being surrounded by zombies

Takeo MasakiEdit

"I have drawn a line in the sand!"
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"Face me at your peril."
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"You bring about your own destruction!"
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"Die, like the animal you are!"
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"You should have slumbered in your grave!"
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"Now you sleep for eternity!"
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"Kneel before me!"
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"All your efforts lead to failure!"
— Upon killing a zombie close to him.
"You bring forth your destruction!"
— Upon killing a zombie that hit him.
"Most impressive..."
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"The power of my ancestors flows through my veins!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"Death comes quickly to you!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"Your deaths have come to an end, my undead enemy."
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"Your abomination has been wiped from the earth."
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"I just played a great position."
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"I am like a brain surgeon!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"It is time for your autopsy!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"No closer shall you come!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a headshot.
"An eye for an eye!"
— Upon killing a zombie that hit him.
"You dare touch me?"
— Upon killing a zombie that hit him.
"The worms will dine tonight!"
— Upon killing a zombie that hit him.
"You'll die for your disrespect!"
— Upon killing a zombie that hit him.
"The spirits of my ancestors are with me!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"I cleanse the earth of your poison!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"All must fall!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"By my warriors hand, you die!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"See the error of your ways."
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"Your suffering is at an end!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"Begone, hellspawn!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"Your fate has been fulfilled!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"I, am, WARRIOR!"
— Upon killing multiple zombies.
"Shi-ne!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a knife. "Shi-ne" means "die" in Japanese.
"I send you to hell one piece at a time!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a knife.
"Accept your death!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a knife.
"Advance and fall!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a knife.
"A just kill!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a knife.
"I scatter your remains across the land!"
— Upon killing a zombie with an explosion.
"Your limbs travel high into the air!"
— Upon killing a zombie with an explosion.
"I blow you away like a mighty wind!"
— Upon killing a zombie with an explosion.
"There is no purpose in your defiance!"
— Upon killing a zombie with an explosion.
"You live the futile life, but die the most entertaining death!"
— Upon killing a zombie with an explosion.
"They deserved their fate..."
— Upon killing a zombie with a Monkey Bomb.
"To kill tree, you must destroy forest."
— Upon killing a zombie with a Monkey Bomb.
"Destruction is the brother of destruction."
— Upon killing a zombie with a Monkey Bomb.
"Pain, in large numbers."
— Upon killing a zombie with a Monkey Bomb.
"I prefer them in smaller pieces."
— Upon killing a zombie with a Monkey Bomb.
"Monkey power!"
— Upon killing a zombie with a Monkey Bomb.
"An unnatural death, for an unnatural beast!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the Ray Gun.
"See what damage my weapon can do!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the Ray Gun.
"Your death life is over!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the Ray Gun.
"No more shall you feed on the living."
— Upon killing a zombie with the Ray Gun.
"I kill you! Ha ha!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the Ray Gun.
"You are joined in agony!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.
"Feel the lightning surge through you!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.
"Begone, hell-beast!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.
"You have fought your last battle."
— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.
"No more shall you sour the earth with your presence."
— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2.
"Flesh and bone become one with the air."
— Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower.
"As ashes your future will be."
— Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower.
"The fires of Hell consume you!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower.
"Cinders and ashes you are!"
— Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower.
"You live, only to die by my hand."
— Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower.
"Slain!"
— Upon killing a legless zombie.
"I have finished you!"
— Upon killing a legless zombie.
"Accept your penalty!"
— Upon killing a legless zombie.
"Your miserable existence is over!"
— Upon killing a legless zombie.
"I end you!"
— Upon killing a legless zombie.
"You are a waste!"
— After making a legless zombie.
"They continue, even as stumps!"
— After making a legless zombie.
"How do they survive?"
— After making a legless zombie.
"Still coming!"
— After making a legless zombie.
"They linger, incomplete!"
— After making a legless zombie.
"They gather at my feet!"
— After making a legless zombie.
"Half a zombie, still as dangerous!"
— After making a legless zombie.
"They waddle on the floor!"
— After making a legless zombie.
"Why do they persist?"
— After making a legless zombie.
"I am ashamed for you!"
— After making a legless zombie.

"Your time on Earth is over!"
— After killing a Hellhound.
"I take pleasure in your deaths!"
— After killing a Hellhound.
"Return to the Hell from whence you came!"
— After killing a Hellhound.
"Your bark is worse than your bite!"
— After killing a Hellhound.
"No longer will you hunger for flesh!"
— After killing a Hellhound.

"My ammunition supply runs low!"
— When low on ammo.
"No bullets remain!"
— When low on ammo.
"No ammo! My situation grows worse!"
— When low on ammo.
"Daoh!"
— When low on ammo.
"I need ammunitions, quickly!"
— When low on ammo.
"My weapons are like Dempsey's head. Empty."
— When out of ammo.
"Without ammo, I cannot achieve victory."
— When out of ammo.
"The emptiness of my weapons displeases me."
— When out of ammo.
"No ammunitions, very sad."
— When out of ammo.
"I need ammunition!"
— When out of ammo.
"I'm out of ammo!"
— When out of ammo.
"I need ammo!"
— When out of ammo.

"Simply bad-ass, just like me."
— After getting the .357 Magnum from Mystery Box
"This will hold them back for a while! Ha ha ha!"
— Planting Bouncing Betties
"Do not mock me, Bear."
— After getting the Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box
"Ah, the little warrior."
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"Even a monkey is smarter than Nikolai."
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"Tickles..."
— Rarely after getting damaged by the Wunderwaffe
"Monkey, I choose you!"
— Receiving a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery box. A reference to Pokemon.
"Ohhh... Monkey Bomb!"
— After receiving the Monkey Bomb
"Monkey is image of Nikolai's wife! But prettier."
— After a player receives a monkey bomb
"The main ingredient... a Zombie!"
— After getting the Bowie Knife

"Don't drop limb, drop power up..."
— After gibbing and killing a zombie without a power up dropping
"The killing can continue!"
— After receiving a max ammo power-up
"We have a chance to grow rich!"
— After receiving a Double Points power-up
"A good carpenter leaves no wood to be carved!"
— After using Carpenter

"This weapon has honor!"
— After receiving a weapon from the Pack-a-Punch machine.
"Arigato."
— After using a teleporter.
"This will do very nicely... hehehe."
— After receiving a weapon from the Pack-a-Punch machine.
"I need what is in there!"
— After approaching an unopened Pack-a-Punch machine

"Where is Red Army now, eh?"
— Said when Nikolai gets surrounded
"Richtofen, I will not desert you!"
— After Richtofen is swarmed
"Monkey knows Nikolai can't survive without him."
— Said when Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb
"My ancestors will have to wait for my arrival!"
— After being revived
"I will not give up!"
— After being surrounded by Zombies

"Die you diseased dog!"
— At the start of a Hellhound round
"The spirits are toying with us."
— At the start of a Hellhound round
"The dogs hunger for the flesh... of us!"
— At the start of a Hellhound round.
"Hell's beasts approach!"
— At the start of a Hellhound round.
"A storm approaches..."
— At the start of a Hellhound round.
"I require more money."
— After trying to buy something without enough points
"I teach the animals, in the ways of death!"
— Beginning of a Hellhound round

Edward RichtofenEdit

"His head EXPLODED. SUCH JOY!"
— After getting a headshot or blowing a zombie's head off with a grenade.
"Do you know WHO I AM?!?!"
— After killing a zombie
"Excuse me, do you have the time? AHAHAHAHAHA!"
— After killing a zombie
"I love to bathe naked... in your blood!"
— After killing a zombie
"Rest in peace, my little undead friend."
— After killing a zombie
"Stumpy was rude to the doctor. Stumpy paid the price."
— After killing a zombie
"The Doctor prescribes you... PAIN!!"
— After killing a zombie
"Who's your daddy?"
— After killing a zombie
"You are my child. Bastard child, but child nonetheless."
— After killing a zombie
"Doctor recommends AMPUTATION!"
— After gibbing a zombie
"So many body parts! I am in HEAVEN!!"
— After gibbing a zombie
"Ed wants your head!"
— After getting a headshot. Possible reference to Iron Maiden, a heavy metal band.
"Now let's see you clap! Hahaha!"
— After shooting off a zombie's arm
"Take your medicine, Child"
— After getting a headshot
"You will not feed!"
— Killing a group of zombies, or getting a headshot
"This must be how Dempsey's mother must have felt when he was born!"
— After being surrounded by zombies
"Let us all have a sing-along for the corpses"
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"No more monkey sing-along for the cadavers."
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"Oh, my! It kills people! Brilliant!"
— After a Monkey Bomb explodes
"You cannot resist the power of the Wunderwaffe!"
— After getting several kills with the Wunderwaffe
"His head sends his apologies."
— After getting a head shot.
"Look at all the body parts. Someone get me a bag!"
— After blowing up a group of zombies
"KNEEL!"
— After killing a zombie that had hit him
"Ooh! This is much better than my Hitler Youth knife!"
— After knifing a zombie (only on the Black Ops version)
"Blood, gore, sinew, bones, organs, pulmonary systems!"
— After knifing multiple zombies in a quick succession (only on the Black Ops version).

"Oh good, I have an apple to peel. AN ADAMS APPLE!"
— After purchasing the Bowie Knife
"Oh, it feels so good in my hands..."
— After getting the .357 Magnum
"Ooh, Wunderwaffe!"
— After getting multiple kills with the DG-2
"To kill quickly, ja! With skill? No."
— After receiving an Automatic Weapon.
"So much lead, for the dead! Ahah! I'm a poet, and I didn't know it, Ha!"
— After getting an Automatic or Shotgun out of the Mystery Box
"Ich bin... FUCKING ANGRY!"
— After getting Molotov Cocktail
"Maybe you move it because... you like me?"
— After getting the Teddy Bear in the Mystery Box
"Let Richtofen's carnival of horrors begin!"
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"Ooh, a cute little monkey bomb for the doctor"
— After getting the Monkey Bomb
"Play the cymbals of death, my little monkey friend."
— After getting the Monkey Bomb.
"I am useless!"
— After being low on/having no ammunition
"I need bullets to further my work!"
— After being low on/having no ammunition
"AMMO FOR THE DOCTOR!""
— After being low on/out of ammo
"No ammo....? NOOOOOO!"
— After being low on/having no ammunition
"There is... NOTHING left!"
— After being low on/having no ammunition
"Without bullets there can be no bullet wounds!"
— After being low on/having no ammunition
"Aaaah, this will help me add to my collection... OF APPENDAGES!"
— After purchasing Bowie Knife
"Under what reich is that fair?"
— After getting a Teddy Bear
"You could not put that simian in more trusted hands!"
— After receiving the Monkey Bomb
"Wunderbar!! Wunderwaffe, WUNDERBAR!!"
— When receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2
"Scheiße, mein veapon, Scheiße!!"
— When Richtofen runs out of ammo.
"Come my undead friends to the monkey carnival of horror... I made that up."
— When about to throw the monkey bomb.

"With a single strike, you DIE!"
— After getting Insta-Kill.
"This must work with telekinesis."
— After getting Carpenter.
"No shortage on this front! Hahaha!"
— After getting the Max Ammo power-up
"Go to work, my minions!"
— After getting Carpenter.
"A hammer to bash their brains! Oh, the windows, right."
— Obtaining Carpenter.
"Do not guard the windows my friends. The doctor has it covered!"
— Obtaining Carpenter.

"Ahh, I love it. STAY AWAY THIS IS MINE!"
— After using the Pack-a-Punch Machine
"Attach part A to grommet B... Oh screw it, just press buttons!"
— After approaching a deactivated Teleporter
"Ah, good, it is still here! Err, I mean... ooh, what could this be?"
— After approaching a deactivated Teleporter
"Step one, activate teleporter. Step two, link it to the mainframe. Step three...matter transfer!"
— After activating a Teleporter
"We're going to need more body bags."
— After receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon
"If I remember correctly, we must now activate the central mainframe. I mean... ooh, this is so confusing!"
— After activating a Teleporter
"If only Maxis were here to see this."
— After activating a Teleporter
"Max Ammo Machine?! What a wonderful idea!"
— After buying the Amm-O-Matic, an unseen Perk Machine programmed into Der Riese.
"Does anyone need any balls that need polishing? Calm down, Nikolai."
— After approaching the Pack-A-Punch Machine

"What's that Nikolai? You're scared and wish to run? OK!"
— To Nikolai
"Fascinating creatures, don't you think, Nikolai?"
— After Nikolai Belinski comments on the zombies
"Once again, Nikolai leads from the front."
— After Nikolai Belinski gets a kill
"Dempsey, I am not your babysitter."
— After Tank Dempsey gets downed
"Dempsey, when this is all over, I'm going to donate you to medical science."
— After Tank Dempsey says something
"Look! The missing link! And he's holding a monkey!"
— After witnessing Tank Dempsey getting the Monkey Bomb
"Aw nein. It seems sexy. Whatever."
— Richtofen
"Dempsey, I hate you with every cell of my body!"
— After Dempsey comments on himself
"You are head and shoulders above them Nikolai!"
— Richtofen to Nikolai.
""Dempsey, I hate you. I hate your ugly voice.""
— Edward Richtofen after Dempsey comments on himself.
"Patience my red friend, they will all perish under our might."
— To Nikolai
"Kick him over to me if you need help Russian!"
— To Nikolai
"For someone so drunk, you aim so well."
— To Nikolai
"Nikolai, you are like drunken sniper!"
— To Nikolai
"Nikolai would you like me to cram it down Dempsey's throat? I will if you like."
— To Nikolai
"I think a bear would have been more suited to you Russian."
— To Nikolai
"The Russian and the German, what a team!!"
— To Nikolai
"I nominate Dempsey as crawler bait, any objections?"
— Edward Richtofen
"I am not afraid, but I could use some help"
— When being swarmed
"I am not afraid, but THEY'RE EVERYWHERE!!"
— When being swarmed

"There is probably one big switch somewhere that powers EVERYTHING. We Germans are very efficient."
— At the beginning of the game.
"Fluffy? Is that you?"
— At beginning of a Hellhound round.
"I require more money!"
— After trying to buy something without enough money.
"I think this is called the Mainframe. It must need power."
— Starting a match.
"Power power power power! It's allways the first priority!"
— Starting a match.
"Get off my boots!!"
— Killing a crawler
"Leave some for me!!"
— After seeing zombies killed.
"You know I really think this whole war thing could have been worked out over a nice little schnapps."
— Edward Richtofen
"Heeheeheee they cannot run from me now!!"
— Getting a weapon
"Dunker, so good."
— Unknown
"Look at the red spray!!"
— After killing multiple zombies in quick succession
"I am AROUSED!!"
— Unknown

Monkey BombEdit

"You look friendly."
— While being primed
"I'm faulty."
— While being primed
"You're not Sam..."
— While being primed
"Hello friend."
— While being primed
"I love you."
— While being primed
"Hi! I'm Monkey. Wanna play?"
— While being primed. A reference to Chucky from Child's Play.
"Hello!"
— When Activating
"I'm Mr. Monkey"
— While being primed
"Let's be friends!"
— While being primed

"Get ready for a surprise!"
— Before exploding
"Bye, bye, Zombies!"
— Before exploding
"I'll miss you."
— Before exploding
"I hope we meet again!"
— Before exploding
"I don't want to leave."
— Before exploding
"I'm coming Sam!"
— Before exploding


"Here I come Sam!"
— Before Exploding, similar to the above quote, "I'm coming Sam!"
"I just crapped my pants!"
— Before Exploding
"Is this the end?"
— Before exploding
"Let's play again!"
— Before exploding

"Ow! Ooh! Ow!"
— After being thrown in the furnace

Samantha MaxisEdit

"Ka-Boom!"
— After getting nuke power-up.
"Max Ammo!"
— After getting the Max Ammo power-up
"Insta-Kill!"
— After getting Insta-Kill
"Double Points."
— After getting Double Points
"Carpenter!"
— After getting the Carpenter power-up

"Bye Bye!"
— After getting Teddy Bear from the Mystery box
"[Demonic Laughter]"
— When the Teddy Bear appears

"FETCH ME THEIR SOULS!"
— When hellhounds appear
"Having FUN!?"
— When Hellhounds spawn at the mainframe without any power ups.
"Uh Oh"
— When both hellhounds and power-ups spawn after teleporting.
"Uh-oh...NO TREATS FOR YOU!"
— When hellhounds spawn after teleporting, without any power-ups

"I want to play a game...let's play Hide & Seek!!"
— After activating the Fly Trap
"Yay, you found one..."
— After finding the first item of the Fly Trap
"Wow, you found another one!"
— After finding the another item of the Fly Trap
"You win... GAME OVER!"
— After finding all the items of the Fly Trap
"Why are you so cruel to Mr. Monkey? Mr. Monkey just wanted to PLAY!."
— After completing the Monkey Bomb in the furnace Easter Egg

Der Riese AnnouncerEdit

"Power level's critical...(fading away)shutting down the teleporters."
— Start of the game

"Power re-established, re-link the Teleporters"
— After the power is activated

"Teleport successful."
— After teleporting or linking a pad to mainframe
"You have 25 seconds to link to the main frame."
— After activating a teleporter
"20."
— Countdown after activating a teleporter
"15."
— Countdown after activating a teleporter
"10"
— Countdown after activating a teleporter
"9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,"
— countdown after activating a teleporter

"Electric defense active."
— After using an Electro-Shock Defense
"Diverting power to bridge."
— After activating the Electro-Shock Defense at the bridge.

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