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Contents 1 Tank Dempsey 1.1 Beginning 1.1.1 Killing a Zombie 1.2 Being hit by a Zombie 1.3 Hellhound 1.4 Downed or revived 1.5 Ammo 1.6 Buying weapons off the wall 1.7 Power-up 1.8 Perk-a-Cola 1.9 Pack-a-Punch 1.10 Mystery Box 1.11 Interactive 1.12 Other 1.13 Meteorite Quotes 1.14 Portrait Quotes 1.15 Cut Quotes 2 Nikolai Belinski 2.1 Beginning 2.2 Killing a Zombie 2.3 Being hit by a Zombie 2.4 Hellhound 2.5 Down or revived 2.6 Ammo 2.7 Buying off weapons off the wall 2.8 Power-up 2.9 Perk-a-Cola 2.10 Pack-a-Punch 2.11 Mystery Box 2.12 Interactive 2.13 Other 2.14 Cut Quotes 3 Takeo Masaki 3.1 Beginning 3.2 Killing a zombie 3.3 Being hit by a Zombie 3.4 Hellhound 3.5 Downed or revived 3.6 Ammo 3.7 Buying weapons off the wall 3.8 Power-ups 3.9 Perk-a-Colas 3.10 Pack-a-Punch 3.11 Mystery Box 3.12 Interactive 3.13 Other 3.14 Cut Quotes 4 Edward Richtofen 4.1 Being hit by a Zombie 4.2 Hellhound 4.3 Downed or revived 4.4 Ammo 4.5 Buying weapons off the wall 4.6 Power-ups 4.7 Perk-a-Colas 4.8 Pack-a-Punch 4.9 Mystery Box 4.10 Interactive 4.11 Other 4.12 Cut Quotes 5 Demonic announcer(Samantha Maxis) 6 Trivia

Tank Dempsey

Beginning

"No power, no glory."

— At the beginning.

"Aw, are you freakin' kidding me? No power!"

— At the beginning.

"Well well well. Look's like there ain't no power."

— At the beginning.

"Gonna have to get the power on, it's like déjà vu all over again."

— At the beginning.

"Yep, *sigh* just as I suspected. We need to get the power on."

— At the beginning.

"No power. How original."

— Beginning a match

Killing a Zombie

"Get back, you reekass nasty squag!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Back off, meatmouth!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You smell like a pool of shit, freakbag!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Too close, brain-maggot!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Move it! This ain't cuddle time!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You get any closer, I'll gonna' have to introduce you to my mother!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Thank you! Drive-thru!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Look at that mess I made...Oorah."

— After killing lots of zombies in a row.

"I gotta give ya credit zombie, you got no quit in ya!"

— Upon getting a kill.

"Die! Again! Bonebag!"

— Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"You're buried for good now!"

— Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Stay dead, cheesehead!"

— Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Finally put down where you belong!"

— Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Uh-uh! Not a chance, stumpy!"

— Upon killing a legless/footless zombie.

"Motherless fless-addict!"

— After a knife kill.

"I'm gonna' do a jig in your insides, freakbag!"

— After a knife kill.

"Eat my blade, maggot-sack!"

— After a knife kill.

"Taste this, bone-junkie!"

— After a knife kill.

"RARGH!!!"

— After a knife kill.

"Die, DIE!!!!"

— After a knife kill.

"Blew em' to high hell!"

— After an explosive kill.

"AWESOME!"

— After an explosive kill.

"Not a chance, bonemaggots!"

— After an explosive kill.

"Hey, freak-bag! You need to learn when to die!"

— After an explosive kill.

"I've gave him credit, he's not about to quit!"

— After an explosive kill.

"I guess they need to get blown up again!"

— After an explosive kill.

"Stupid undead flesh monkeys! You're dead already!"

— After an explosive kill.

"There's just somethin' so beautiful about blowin' shit up!"

— After an explosive kill.

"Blood-sucking gutter-slugs, are goin' out Dempsey-style!"

— After an explosive kill.

"Oo-fuckin'-rah!"

— After an explosive kill.

"Whoo-hoo! Haven't lost a touch!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Cracked him right in the dome!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"I should get twice the points for that shot!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Of course I skulled it! What else would I do?!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Slug to the skull! Nice."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Hope you can appreciate a perfect shot!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"No head. No dinner. Awesome."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Squish! Ha!!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Pop! Right in the head!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Can't eat meat without a mouth!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Argh! Fuck me that smells!"

— After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Richtofen! Lay off the sauerkraut, man!"

— After killing a Gas Zombie

"How do ya like that, creepy crawler!"

— After killing a Gas Zombie.

"Argh! Those things need to see the sunshine every once in a while!"

— After killing a gas zombie.

"He just... he just blew all over the place! *laughs* Wow!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Let's send those freakbags back to 1946!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Okay, woah! That was bad-ass!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"*in advertising voice* Killing zombies in one simple step! Batteries not included."

— When getting multiple kills with the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Killing zombies since 1945! Ooh-Ra!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Die you undead flesh-whores!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Hey zombies, you're dying over here!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"More dead here than a goth party!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"You keep coming, I'll keep killing!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Oh yeah, That little dude is badass!"

— Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

Being hit by a Zombie

"Eat it ,ya nasty squag!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Die, you undead flesh-addict!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"K to the I to the A, Zombitch!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him, reference to status K.I.A (Killed in Action)

"You had no chance, bonemonkey!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him

"Look out, freakbag! I bite back!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him

"Get off of me!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"L'eggo of my boots, stumpy!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Aw! You're gettin' pus all over my pants!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"You wanna' lick my boots, freakbag?!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Knee-biting maggot!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Hand it with the humpy, stumpy!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

Hellhound

"Ah great... this again!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Bring on the dogs!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"I ain't gonna be any puppy's chew toy!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Time to put you down puppy-dog!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fetch my grenade, devil voice!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Fuck you, Fido!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Down, boy!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"That's the last leg you'll ever hump!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Damn! That was hot!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Bad doggie!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Woah! It just blew up!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived

"Fucker caught me napping!"

— When downed. He also says this quote in Der Riese.

"Man down, MAN DOWN!"

— When downed.

"My gun was jammed, else that wouldn't have happened."

— Said when being revived.

"Ahh shit, this is embarrassing!"

— When downed. He also says this quote in Der Riese.

"Someone wanna help me out here?"

— When downed.

"I hope you choke, meat-sack!"

— When downed. He also says this quote in Der Riese

"Lucky bone-sucking maggot-whores... they're really gonna pay now!"

— After being revived.

"Whatever... even a blind squirrel is right twice a day."

— After being revived.

"So they got a little lucky... WHAT?!"

— After being revived.

""Don't worry, just tripped.""

— After being revived.

Ammo

"Feeling light. Need the juice."

— When low ammo.

"Gonna need some juice soon!"

— When low ammo.

"Gotta' get some more rounds."

— When low ammo.

"Need some more ammo."

— When out of ammo.

"Knee deep in zombie shit with no ammo! Glorious!"

— When out of ammo.

"Hey! Player! I need more ammo or we're going down!"

— When out of ammo.

"Hey! Player! Drop the chips and get me some ammo!"

— When out of ammo.

"I need to find some lead or I'm gonna' get bored here!"

— When out of ammo.

"Damn! I'm outta' juice!"

— When out of ammo.

"Gonna have to round up some rounds!"

— When low on ammo or out of ammo.

"I need more ammunition! Ahh!! Ahh!!"

— When low on ammo or out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall

"The only thing better than a M16 is... well, two M16s!"

— After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Ah, the M16. 5.56 millimeter magazine-fed gas-operated sweetness... just like me."

— After buying a M16 off the wall.

"Wonder if they'll even know what hit them. Ha ha!"

— After buying a M14 off the wall.

"Little gun, lots of holes!"

— Buying a SMG off the wall

"I'm gonna spill their guts all over the place, haha!"

— After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Nothing like a SMG! haha."

— After buying an AK-74u off the wall.

"Hey zombie! Wanna try out my new gun?"

— Buying an SMG off the wall

Power-up

"Whoo! More shit to kill with!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"RE-JUICED!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammunition on the house!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Wait, we ARE keeping score?"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up. A possible reference to a quote made in Der Riese.

"Shoot 'em up!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Well, that'll keep 'em.... for now."

— Upon getting a Carpenter power-up

"NUUUKE!"

— Upon getting a Nuke.

"KA-BOOOOM!"

— Upon getting a Nuke.

"BOOM FUCKING RAH, Maggotaddicts!"

— Said upon getting a nuke.

"Eat that ya undead flesh monkeys!"

— Upon getting a Nuke.

"Man up Zombies, it's time to die."

— Upon getting Insta-Kill.

"Attention freakbags, everything must go!"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale.

Perk-a-Cola

"Tastes like... fermented herring dipped in cat piss... blaugh."

— Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Yeah, that hit the spot."

— Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"Reach for me, Jugger-Girl. Oo-rah."

— Upon drinking Juggernog.

"Ugh, why is this stuff so damn chewy?"

— Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

Pack-a-Punch

"Wonder if Richtofen has gears like that in his head."

— While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Man... I wish we could replace Richtofen with a hot chick, I'm getting lonely here."

— While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine. A possible reference to Richtofen's Grand Scheme.

"Pack a punch, just like me."

— While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"C'mon Pack-a-Punch, you better hurry up!"

— While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine. A reference to how players have a limited time to pack-a-punch and grab their gun before they teleport again.

"Hell yeah, Dempsey gets an upgrade!"

— After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Bring it on, freak-sacks!"

— After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"A fire-breathing shotgun? Tears me up just thinking about it!"

— After getting Hades from the Pack-a-Punch Machine

" (Laughs) And I thought this couldn't get any better!"

— After Recieving the Mustang and Sally from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

Mystery Box

"Time to die, bone-jaw!"

— After getting a Commando from Mystery Box.

"Little gun, lots of holes."

— After getting a Spectre from Mystery Box.

"This is gonna turn'em into red mist!"

— After getting a Spectre, SMG or possibly the Ray Gun from the Mystery Box.

"No more nice guy bone-jaw, I'm gonna kick your ass."

— After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"Time to make some noise!"

— After getting a HS-10 from Mystery Box.

"Well, I see the future hasn't changed anything! Fucking box!"

— After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"That's just craptastic!"

— After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"At least this thing doesn't cost real money!"

— After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"*Laughs* Almost nothin'!"

— After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Monkey! So glad to see you again, buddy!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Aww, what a cute little bundle of C4!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"*chuckles* Hey, Box! Fuck you!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"You keep on laughin', little girl! When I find you! You're grounded!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Man! Why does it always do that to me!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Ah, I didn't want a new gun anyway!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Oh, of course! I get the damn teddy bear!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Can't roll the bet if I can't place the dice!"

— When trying to use the Mystery Box without enough points.

"Oh, they are gonna dig this!!!"

— After Receiving the ray gun.

"(In a taunting voice) I got the Ray Gun!"

— After Receiving the ray gun.

"Check out those cool lights and buttons..."

— After receiving the Thundergun.

Interactive

"Nice shot, Takeo!"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"Beautiful!"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"Perfect! As I would expect from a soldier like you!"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"Keep it up, Takeo! You're gonna' be USMC honored!"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"Do it again, Tak!"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"Oh, you turned it's head inside out! OORAH!"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"We're coming, Takeo!"

— When Takeo is swarmed

"Hang in, Tak! On the way!"

— When Takeo is swarmed

"Covering fire on its way for ya, Tak!"

— When Takeo is swarmed

"We gotta go help out Takeo!"

— When Takeo is swarmed

"Takeo's in trouble! Gotta' help him!"

— When Takeo is swarmed

"Nice work, Takeo! But, you missed some."

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"We have a knee-biter comin' in!"

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Watch out for the crawler!"

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"You see what you did there, Takeo!"

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Hey! Takeo! Some of it's still alive!"

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Wind 'em up and let 'em loose, Takeo!"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"Unleash the little guy, Takeo!"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"Use the monkey, Takeo! I like its little song!"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"Blow em' to hell, Takeo!"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"Hey Takeo! Wind it up and see if Richtofen will chase it down!"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"Lucky shot!"

— When Richtofen gets a headshot

"Richtofen's all surrounded! Let's leave him to his friends!"

— When Richtofen is swarmed

"Seriously, Richtofen, you gotta at least TRY to kill the thing!"

— When Richtofen makes a crawler

"Richtofen, stop playing with your monkey, man!"

— When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

Other

"Haha, and you thought I wouldn't find it."

— Upon entering the bathroom at first floor.

"No time for sugar, baby. I'm here to check the meter!"

— Upon entering the dressing room.

"Hey, check it out! I'm outside!"

— Upon gaining access to the alley.

"Alright, I always did want a spot on the big screen."

— After the power is turned on and then, entering the theater.

"Another easter egg. Ha! How do they do it."

— Upon entering the foyer.

Meteorite Quotes

"Looks like part of a meteor."

— After found the first piece of the meteor.

"Here's another one!"

— After found the second piece of the meteor

"This has to be the last piece."

— After found the last piece of the meteor.

"I found the hidden song, awesome."

— Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

Portrait Quotes

"Ahh, a tale of two Dempseys. Starts slow, but, has a happy ending."

— After examining his portrait.

"Whoa, looks like Nikolai's put on a few pounds. What's he been eatin'?"

— After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Awwwww, our little bundle of badass."

— After examining Takeo's portrait.

"His portrait's bigger than anyone elses. Must be trying to compensate for somethin'."

— Upon examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey, look! It's nobody!"

— After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Cut Quotes

"The Waffle! Killing zombies made easy in one single step. Batteries included."

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box. (Said in a very fast, commercial-sounding voice.)

"Element 115. Concentrated to a single beam of pure badassery...wait...how the hell do I know that?"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box. Note reference to the brainwashing effect caused by Element 115 on Takeo, Nikolai, and Dempsey.

"The DG-2... one slick piece of machinery."

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Wonder Waffle...yeah. Thing 'o beauty."

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Hey zombies! You like Waffles?"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Welcome to the party meatsacks!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"They got ZERO chance against me and the Wonder Waffle!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"You see that? HOLY SHIT BALLS!"

— Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Time to fry freakmaggots!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BZZZ! ZAP! Woohoo!"

— Killing zombie/s with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"BURN!"

— Killing zombie/s with the M2 Flamethrower

"That smells a little like popcorn."

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

"Woo! You want fries with that?!"

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

"Mmm. That's some well done meat right there."

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

"Burn in hell, you skull sucking maggot!"

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower

Dempsey's Quotes (Kino)(17:16)
1,038 views

Nikolai Belinski

Beginning

"Maybe someone should go turn on the power now."

— At the beginning.

"No power! Just like home."

— At the beginning.

"I think we need to do something about the power."

— At the beginning.

"Who didn't pay the electric bill?"

— At the beginning.

"We should go find the fuse box."

— At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie

"Out of my way piz-da!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Move it! Coming through!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You got puss on my new shirt!..I have to dry clean now!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You capitalist pigdogs!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"It tried to take my vodka!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Die by the hand of Nikolai! Hey, dat rhyme, heh..."

— Upon getting a kill when "Insta-Kill" is on.

"Die now, son of bitch!"

— Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"Do svidaniya, bitches!"

— Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on. ("Do svidaniya" meaning "goodbye" in Russian.)

"Euuuaaaaghhhhhh!!"

— Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"I'll drink to your death"

— Upon getting a kill when Insta-Kill is on.

"Now that's what I call a goulash!"

— Killing multiple zombies with an explosive weapon

"You fall like coddled bourgeois."

— When getting multiple kills

"I made a very big mess."

— When getting multiple kills

"No it's MY VODKA! MINE! MY OWN!"

— When getting multiple kills

"Death to you, demon-spawn!"

— When getting multiple kills

"I just killed a billion zombies! Why is no one helping?!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Good hellspawns! Die!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Like weak before sight."

— Upon multiple kills.

"Nikolai cannot die. Hey, that rhymes!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Hey guys, look what I did."

— Upon multiple kills.

"The Red Army cannot be overrun!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Ha! You cannot even beat a drunk Soviet!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"NEVER mess with a Soviet!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"No! No vodka for you!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"If that's all you got. Maybe, I'm not drinking enough."

— Upon multiple kills.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY VODKA! What? It's a classic!"

— After an explosive kill.

"This fucking gun is amazing!"

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"That was satisfying."

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"I've got more for you."

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"No chance for you, hellpig!"

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"No more drinks for you! You've been cop off. heh."

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"They were here, now they're not. Such is life in the...ah, fuck it."

— After an explosive kill.

"Explosives make things so much easier."

— After an explosive kill.

"BOOM! You are dead!"

— After an explosive kill.

"Have a round on me! Get it? Because... never mind, fuck you."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"I can barely see, but that sounded like it hit his head!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Right between the garza!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Either I'm good or I'm drunk. I hit two zombies with one bullet!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Your misery has ended, comrade."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Die AGAIN, hellpig!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Never mess with a Russian when drinks are on the line!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Somehow, have good aim!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Poor Russian lost his head."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"My aim is straight. My vision is blurry."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Don't slip in the slime!"

— Upon killing a Gas/Crawler Zombie.

"What's that smell? Maybe I sharted."

— Upon killing a Gas/Crawler zombie

"DIE slime thing, DIE! DIE!"

— Upon killing a Gas/Crawler zombie

"You got slime on my uniform!"

— Upon killing a Gas/Crawler Zombie.

"*sniffs* Ugh, that smells disgusting, like my fourth wife... She pretty though.. pretty and smelly, weird combo."

— Upon killing a Crawler Zombie.

"Like the fist of Stalin... up your ass."

— Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Crushed under the might of the Red Army!"

— Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"How do you like that, demons!"

— Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"DIE, you filthy dogs!"

— Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Oh..They're splattered all over the place now."

— Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Nikolai cannot die! Hey, that rhymes!"

— After a knife kill.

"Die, demon hell-pigs!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"You left your arm behind!"

— After destroying a zombie's limb.

"He's half the zombie he used to be."

— After destroying a zombie's limb.

"Limbless creature, I still have no pity."

— After destroying a zombie's limb.

"He can't sip from his bottle anymore."

— After destroying a zombie's limb.

"I will put you out of your misery now."

— After destroying a zombie's limb.

"From Russia with great affection!"

— After killing a zombie, a reference to the movie From Russia with Love.

"Oh sure, you grovel, but you still cannot have any vodka!"

— Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"Looks like I didn't get all of him."

— Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"He is persistent, like begging pheasant!"

— Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"Hey! Look what your doing to the floor!"

— Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"He's crawling back to me, just like good women. Heh."

— Upon spawning a legless/footless zombie.

"It pains me to kill you again, comrade."

— Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"That one isn't a problem anymore."

— Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"If only I had time to piss on you too."

— Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Die, you filthy creature!"

— Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Stand up and say that to my face!"

— Upon getting a kill on a legless/footless zombie.

"Screw all of you!"

— Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I think the zombies hate you monkey!"

— Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I can't believe that works."

— Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"I knew that monkey was good for something."

— Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb.

"Good! That song was driving me nuts."

— Upon getting a kill with the Monkey Bomb. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

Being hit by a Zombie

"OW! My shins!"

— When getting attacked by a crawler.

"What was that? Oh, crawler!"

— When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Stay off my boots, hellpig!"

— When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Stop scratching me!"

— When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Get off of me, swine."

— When getting attacked by a crawler.

"Die, Satan's minions!"

— When getting attacked by a zombie.

"I like it rough, but not that rough!"

— When getting attacked by a zombie.

"You know how to say "owned" in Russian? OWNT!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No it's my vodka! MINE! MY OWN!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"No touchie! ...I have issue."

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You are dead now! But you were dead before! Ah, fuck you!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You see what happens when you touch Nikolai?!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

Hellhound

"Let's play "Fetch the Grenade", demon's spawn!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Come suka, I have vodka for you."

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"They are trying to fetch our souls again!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"You don't want my soul, it probably tastes like vodka. Mmm... vodka."

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"I think there are dogs coming now."

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Die, helldog!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Woof. Woof. Die, demon-spawn!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Down, suka!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound. (suka Translates to Bitch in russian)

"No soul for you!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"*spits* Ugh...it got fur in my mouth"

— Killing a Hellhound

Down or revived

"I have made mess in trousers..."

— When downed.

"Maybe I have time for drink."

— When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Do not leave me to the maggots!"

— When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Oh, I feel stupid..."

— When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Come back! Nikolai can still fight!"

— When downed. A reference to a similar quote in Der Riese.

"Wha-what? I was only taking a nap!"

— After being revived.

"You see what happened to me? There were thousands!"

— After being revived.

"All right, all right, I'll get up all ready, sheesh..... *quietly* like mother."

— After being revived.

"What? Is breaktime over now?"

— After being revived.

"How do you say... "thank you" in Idiot?"

— After being revived.

Ammo

"Getting low on ammunition!"

— When low on ammo.

"Running low on ammo! I'm drunk..."

— When low ammo.

"Greedy capitalist dogs! Give me ammo!"

— When low of ammo

"Why am I always needing more ammo?"

— When low of ammo.

"If I don't find ammo, I will have to kill them with my breath!"

— When low of ammo.

"It's that clicking again! Oh, ammo!"

— When out of ammo.

"Hey, where is all the ammo at?"

— When out of ammo.

"I'm out of ammo! Maybe I should just drink instead... piss on someone..."

— When out of ammo.

"When did I run out of ammo?"

— When out of ammo.

"Why is no one caring about my lack of ammo?"

— When out of ammo.

Buying off weapons off the wall

"Holding this up makes my arms so tired."

— After getting a sniper from the Mystery Box or M14

"Hey... snipers may wear diapers, but we get all the ladies. eh? Hey hey."

— Upon buying an M14 off the wall.

"I can camp somewhere and not have to move so much. Good. I get tired."

— Upon buying an M14 off the wall.

"Alright, who wants to try and take me?"

— After buying any SMG off the wall.

"Eheheh. Come baby...we do the 59, eh? He he..."

— After buying any SMG from the wall.

"This is "nice and light"..."

— After buying any SMG off the wall.

"This will make demon-holes nicely!"

— After buying any SMG from the wall. (These SMG lines above are also said when getting a SMG from the Mystery Box.)

"A shotgun, now I just need a shot glass! He he!"

— After buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Please, I have no job!"

— When attempt to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"Such quality manufacturing. Must come from Motherland."

— When buying the Bowie Knife

"I will stab them in the back, like Stalin did me."

— When buying the Bowie Knife

"This weapon makes me happy."

— When buying the Bowie Knife

"I will cut them, like a filthy capitalist pig!"

— When buying the Bowie Knife

"What a sturdy piece of equipment!"

— When buying the Bowie Knife

Power-up

"Just what the doctor ordered."

— Upon receiving a Max Ammo power-up.

"Why am I so heavy now?"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"This is proper socialist reform!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"It is happy hour!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Vodka for everybody!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Capitalism. If you can't beat them. Meh."

— Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"If this were Russian, it would be free. Just big lines."

— Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"Ugh, these lights are making me sick."

— Upon getting a Fire-Sale power-up

"What is happening? That music sucks. I need another drink."

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"A Fire-Sale. I hope they have vodka."

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Salut!"

— Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"Nikolai is coming for you!"

— Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"Taste communist aggression, filthy wormtrain!"

— Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"I drink to the nuclear bomb!"

— Upon getting the Nuke power-up

"Die, demon hellpigs!"

— Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"Oh good, I don't have to do anything."

— Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"That will keep em' out for a while."

— Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Did you guys hear that voice?"

— Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Stay out, helldogs!"

— Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

"Thank you, disembodied girl voice."

— Upon getting the Carpenter power-up.

Perk-a-Cola

"I think Dempsey is right. It is a bit fishy."

— Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Reach for vodka tooooniiiiggghhht..."

— Upon drinking Juggernog. (Said in song of "Jugger-Nog" tune.)

"Why can I see so clearly now?"

— Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"My tap is now doubled, but not my vodka!"

— When Double Tap Root Beer is bought.

Pack-a-Punch

"Uhh, this is like standing in grocery line!"

— While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"This better be good. It cost enough!"

— While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Hurry hurry hurry hurry hurry! Come on!"

— Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

"Waiting is good! I can have more drink!"

— Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

"*snores* Eh, fuck you."

— Putting a gun in the Pack-A-Punch machine

"This Soviet is ready to fight now!"

— After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"I will hold the demon-spawn at bay with this!"

— After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"HK Goodness!"

— After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"Die demon-spawn!"

— After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"What I wouldn't give for two of these, heh."

— After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"May you rest in pieces, zombies!"

— After receiving a H115 Oscillator.

"Don't worry guys! Nikolai is coming for you!"

— After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Oh, I like, it's pretty!"

— After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Such power, so smooth! And this upgraded weapon is nice too..."

— Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Heh, a weapon suitable for a Soviet."

— Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Da-BOOM!"

— Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Exactly what I need!"

— Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

"Oh I like! It's pretty!"

— Upon receiving a Pack-A-Punched weapon.

Mystery Box

"Got ninety-nine problems, but a gun ain't one, da!"

— After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an M16) and a reference to "99 Problems", a song by Jay-Z.

"Beats a hammer and sickle every time."

— After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an M16. Actually in all the lines below.)

"Ohhh, look it how shiny she is."

— After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"A toast to a brilliant weapon."

— After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"This should help me protect my vodka."

— After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"Hello zombies, I am coming for you!"

— After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"More bullets, more drinks. This is not so bad."

— After getting an Assault Rifle from Mystery Box.

"Magnificent!"

— After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"I love this FN gun! Get it? Cause it's a FN? like... fuck!"

— After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"I wish they had more vodka to go with falafel."

— After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"This FN FAL is good weapon, no?"

— After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"I like this."

— After getting a FN FAL from Mystery Box.

"They stand no chance against this Soviet."

— After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box (also said after buying an Olympia or a Stakeout in the lines below.)

"Time to die now, zombies!"

— After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"Nikolai will show them the way back to hell now!"

— After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"A weapon like this will end them in a hurry!"

— After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"12 gauge fury!"

— After getting a shotgun from the Mystery Box

"Hello beautiful, I will 'cock' you gently."

— After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an M14 off the wall.)

"Now, I can keep my pants from getting bloodier. Hehey."

— After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box.

"A sniper rifle makes for much cleaner killing."

— After getting a sniper rifle from Mystery Box.

"I never met an MG I didn't like"

— Upon getting an SMG from the Mystery Box. (Also said when buying an SMG from the Mystery Box.)

"Why? Why do you treat me like this?"

— After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Come box, share with me your treasures, not your junk!"

— After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box.

"Ugh, Useless."

— After Getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"Ugh, I have better luck when I am drunk!"

— After getting a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"Ah, two guns are better than one! And one is better than, uh... what?"

— After getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"I will be able to take them out gangsta' style now!"

— After getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"Either I'm drunk, or I'm holding two guns!"

— Said after getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"How am I supposed to hold my vodka if I have to carry both of these?"

— Said after getting Dual CZ75s from the Mystery Box.

"This makes Nikolai very happy, like after first date! ...I bring home flower!"

— After getting a China Lake, M72 LAW, or Crossbow from Mystery Box.

"I will make Stalin proud!"

— After getting a China Lake, M72 LAW, or Crossbow from Mystery Box.

"This looks like fun!"

— After getting a China Lake, M72 LAW, or Crossbow from Mystery Box.

"Must've drank so much, I went to the future! Heh."

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"It's like finding extra vodka in your pocket."

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"Such power... Such pride! It must be Russian made!"

— Upon receiving the Thundergun

"Hello Ray. Would you like to taste my vodka?"

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"This must come from outer space, no?"

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box

"Oooo, It's the Ray Gun! Hehehehe."

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box

"First it takes my money, then it disappears... just like my fourth wife!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"This little girl and her games. It's a sign of bad parenting."

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Does anyone else hear that or is it just me?"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Either I'm drunk or that box is flying around?"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Why hasn't somebody tried nailing this down?!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Oh well, maybe I'll just sit here and nap."

— When trying to use Mystery Box without requisite points.

"Fuck you, monkey!"

— After receiving a Monkey Bomb.

"No, Monkey, you may not have any vodka."

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"Aiiiii...I think it's taunting me. I don't like monkey. Remind me of circus in Bagrationovsk."

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.("Bagrationovsk" is a city in Russia.)

"I don't like it's beady little eyes."

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"Why do play this annoying song, monkey?!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"This must be vodka-powered."

— After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Well, this looks new."

— After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Such pride, such power. Must be Russian made."

— After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"Does this come with a cupholder?"

— After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

"I really like these gadgets."

— After obtaining Thundergun from the Mystery Box.

Interactive

"Oorah, Dempsey!"

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"That was a shot deserving a toast."

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"Good shooting, Tank. Next wife, I call you."

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"Maybe,I give you a small taste of vodka someday. Someday."

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"I admire your aim Tank, but not your sobriety."

— When Tank gets multiple headshots.

"Back, hellpigs!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"On my way, Dempsey, but you owe me some vodka in return!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"Why are you not sharing, you fucking capitalist?!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"Dempsey is surrounded!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"Dempsey, maybe try giving 'em something and then, they go away!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"Nice shot Dempsey! But you missed a little bit."

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"Watch for the crawler, Dempsey!"

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"There is a crawler on the loose!"

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"Dempsey, you made a crawler."

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"He's not altogether dead yet, Dempsey."

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"Dempsey, watch out for that evil monkey! He freak me out."

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

"Watch out, Dempsey. It bites!"

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

"Dempsey and monkey sitting in a tree. K I L L I N G. I spelled it right, right?"

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

"Set him loose, so it dies!"

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

"I like your monkey, Dempsey. But, not that little monster."

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb.

"So what, Takeo?"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"Luck favors the weak."

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"You were 3 feet away. Big deal."

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"My little sister shoots better than you, Takeo!"

— When Takeo gets a headshot

"Let's throw a parade for our mighty but tiny warrior."

— When Takeo gets a headshot. Replaces "Bushido" to "but tiny."

"I'll come to your rescue, but only because you owe me from last time!"

— When Takeo is swarmed

"Takeo, you've made friends."

— When Takeo is swarmed

"Did they steal your sense of humor, Takeo?"

— When Takeo is swarmed

"Oh, look! Our Mighty Bushido Warrior is surrounded again! *high pitched* Hehyiiii!"

— Upon seeing Takeo chased by a swarm of Zombies. (The "hehyi" is said, taunting Takeo's Japanese sayings.)

"They must be attracted to your "honor!""

— Upon seeing Takeo chased by a swarm of Zombies

"Try killing it next time, Takeo!"

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"You never finish anything."

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"There's is more to kill still."

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"We have a crawler, Thanks to Takeo."

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Thank you for sharing your misery, Takeo."

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Not so honorable, are you, Takeo."

— When Takeo makes a crawler

"Maybe the evil monkey will eat YOU, Takeo!"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"I hate you both."

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"The Mighty Warrior and his little doll."

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"Look out, Takeo. The monkey might wind YOU up! *laughs*"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

"heh. You guys make perfect couple. You are both ugly. Love to see your kids. *chuckles*"

— When Takeo gets the Monkey Bomb

Other

"What! I did something?"

— Upon getting a Xbox 360 achievement/Playstation 3 Trophy.

"The film must've been shit, this place is full of stiffs!"

— Upon turning on the power.

"Uh, uh-oh. That sounds like trouble."

— When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Oh so. What's all that noise? It's making my headache worse!"

— When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Do you guys hear all that racket?"

— When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Now, it's going to happen."

— When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Perfect. More things to chase me around."

— When the Crawler Zombies spawn/turning on the power.

"Perfect, I shall piss in style here!"

— Upon entering the bathroom in first floor.

"Another dark alley, I know this well."

— Upon gaining access to the alley.

"Dempsey, I think you left your blush!"

— Upon gaining access to the dressing room.

"This place looks like my first apartment. Just less blood."

— Upon gaining access to the foyer.

"What?! That stripper must have stolen my money!"

— Trying to use a door/Perk-A-Cola/Pack-A-Punch without enough points

"Oh I found a rock, great."

— After finding the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock... but no vodka!"

— After finding the second piece of the meteor.

"Here's the last piece. What do I win?"

— After finding the third/last piece of the meteor.

"Hey Hey, I found something neat!"

— When he activates the musical easter egg

"Well, they do say the screen puts on ten pounds."

— After examining his portrait.

"Hey Dempsey! I think they got your bad side!"

— After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"I hate you, Takeo."

— After examining Takeo's portrait.

"Richtofen looks a little younger in this painting."

— After examining Richtofen's portrait.

"Hey! Someone stole the image from this picture!"

— After examining the blacked-out portrait.

"Richtofen, your children are becoming annoying!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Why do they insist on picking on me?!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"You capitalist hellpigs, DIE!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Meet the fury of the Red Army!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"You didn't bring enough hellpigs to take on a Soviet!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I am surrounded by hellpigs!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I think they're all trying to steal my vodka!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Either I'm surrounded or I'm seeing double!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Come quickly! I'm surrounded!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Bad hellpigs, BAD!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"Come, let's dance to your butchka!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I think I'm alone now. There doesn't seem to be anyone around."

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies. A reference to "I Think We're Alone Now", by multiple artists.

"You Bolshevik dogs!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"They're all around me now!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"*sniffs* Alright, Which one of you crap your pants."

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

"I gotta move or they'll take me down!"

— Upon being chased by a swarm of Zombies.

Cut Quotes

"Anyone else smell bacon?"

— Upon killing a zombie with the M2 Flamethrower

"You DIE!"

— Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"You are on fire, hellpig!"

— Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"All this fire is making me sweat. Sweat vodka!"

— Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"Taste the flames of hell!"

— Upon killing a zombie with a flamethrower

"Ey! It's a flamethrower!"

— Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Let's see if I can light my breath on fire. No,no,no,no! Come! Come look! This is funny!"

— Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Anyone need a light?"

— Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Da. Same weapon I used to kill my- oh- no, that was something else. I used ire."

— Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Hey Dempsey, I found a flamethrower. Jealous?"

— Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Hoho. Is it just me or is it getting hot in here. *chuckles*"

— Receiving a flamethrower from the Mystery Box

"Oh great! It's the Wonderfulwaffle!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Hellpigs! I am coming!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Now, this gun makes Nikolai a very happy cossack!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This has more power than Moscow Electric Company!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This ALMOST as strong as the best Russian vodka."

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I have more for you!"

— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Taste the power of the Red Menace!"

— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Electrocution! Just like the gulag! What fun. Good times."

— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Ha! You die like the dogs that you are."

— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

"Heh, I think I saw his bone for a split-second."

— Upon killing a zombie with the Wunderwaffe DG-2

Takeo Masaki

Beginning

"We need to bring light to this dark place."

— At the beginning.

"This place is dark. We need to find the light!"

— At the beginning.

"There seems to be no power!"

— At the beginning.

"There is no power now! Perhaps there never was."

— At the beginning.

"We should go find the power box."

— At the beginning.

Killing a zombie

"Your teeth will not cut into my flesh!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Keep your hands to yourself, monster!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You will not feel the flesh of the honorable!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Always counter your enemy's movements!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Your evil cannot infect the honorable!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Daah, I'm soaked with your blood!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"My personal space must be preserved!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"You will never touch me, hell-beast!"

— Upon getting a kill in a really close range.

"Shi-Ne!"

— Upon getting a knife kill. "Shi-Ne" means "die" in Japanese.

"My honor is bigger than yours!"

— Upon getting a knife kill.

"Now you die!"

— Upon getting a knife kill.

"Die, Monster!"

— Upon getting a knife kill.

"I send you to your ancestors!"

— Upon getting a knife kill.

"You die with no honor!"

— Upon getting a knife kill.

"Hyah!"

— Upon getting a knife kill.

"Die, foul creatures!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"I will not stop until you are all destroyed!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Return to darkness!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Continuance is strength, so I shall continue!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"When I am finished, none shall remain!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"You bring me great honor!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"There is no victory, only death!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"You cannot survive this!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Die, cursed beasts!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Feel the fist of the emperor!"

— Upon an explosive kill.

"Amazing!"

— Upon an explosive kill.

"With the force of one thousand wombats, YOU DIE!"

— Upon an explosive kill.

"You explode with honour!"

— Upon an explosive kill.

"You all kneel before the emperor!"

— Upon an explosive kill.

"Takeo one, Zombie zero!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"That is one for Takeo, zero for zombie!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Hmm. Impressive."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Their head vanishes, then death."

— Upon getting a headshot.

"No supper for you!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"That is perfect training!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"I cannot allow you to stare at me!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Now your head is a threat to no one!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"You cannot harm us without a mouth!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"The beast never knew what hit him!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Eat my vengeance!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"You are purified!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"I take great pleasure in ending you!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"There is no tomorrow for you!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"I have taken care of the crawler!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Ugh, that thing could not ever have been human!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Smells like rotten sushi!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"You have been purified!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"I will rid the Earth of this plague!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"Back to nothing with you!"

— Upon killing a gas zombie.

"The kamikaze strikes!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Begone!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"The divine wind carries you away!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Hadoken!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon. A hadoken is a fictional attack in the Street Fighter series involving a character shooting energy from their hands.

"Their bones are dust!"

— Upon getting a kill with Thundergun/Zeus Cannon.

"Pew pew, pew pew, hahahahaha!"

— Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"Your soul will not survive this!"

— Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"You are eviscerated!"

— Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"Such power!"

— Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"You have been deemed unworthy!"

— Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"The path of the unholy is always trumped by the pure!"

— Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Taste the honor!"

— Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Ahh, as fierce as he is cute!"

— Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"With honor you die, monkey."

— Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Those stupid beasts!"

— Upon getting a kill with a Monkey Bomb.

"Ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

— Upon shooting a limb off.

"My honour is bigger than yours!"

— Upon shooting a limb off.

"It is rotting from the inside!"

— Upon shooting a limb off.

"No more meat for you!"

— Upon shooting a limb off.

"Give him a hand! (laughs)"

— Upon shooting a limb off.

"Its evil persists!"

— Upon making a legless zombie.

"That creature is possessed!"

— Upon making a legless zombie.

"Die, evil beast!"

— Upon making a legless zombie.

"Eat death, beast!"

— Upon making a legless zombie.

"You don't have enough honor to die!"

— Upon making a legless zombie.

Being hit by a Zombie

"You kill me? No! I kill you!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Not on this day, tormented soul!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You had an unhappy ending! Ha ha ha!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Your strike was weak!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"You lack focus!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Crawler!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Get Back!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Look out for the short zombie!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Watch your feet!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

"Stay off my uniform!"

— Upon being hit by a legless/footless zombie.

Hellhound

"I fear no dog!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"We have truly angered hell!"

— At the begginning of a Hellhound round.

"Hell has sent the towns!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"These Hell-beasts must be destroyed!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"You may not take me!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Die, demon-spawn!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"Die, dog!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"You cannot take that which is not yours!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"You are vanquished!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

Downed or revived

"I require assistance!"

— When downed.

"Is this how it ends?"

— When downed.

"This is not how I wish to die!"

— When downed.

"This is without reason!"

— When downed.

"This cannot be!"

— When downed.

"I have fallen into darkness!"

— When downed.

"Your karma has approved"

— After being revived.

"You have much honor..."

— After being revived.

"Nana korobi, ya oki."

— After being revived. A Japanese proverb meaning "fall seven times, stand up eight."

"Even monkeys fall from trees!"

— After being downed.

"Meditation time over!"

— After being revived.

Ammo

"My weapon is low on honour."

— When low on ammo.

"I will soon need ammunition."

— When low on ammo.

"This weapon will be useless without bullets!"

— When low on ammo.

"I should go look for more ammunition."

— When low on ammo.

"Where is my ammunition?"

— When low on ammo.

"Need more ammunition!"

— When low ammo

"A true warrior needs no weapon!"

— When out of ammo.

"I have no ammo. I have no honor."

— When out of ammo.

"Vengeance waits for no ammunition!"

— When out of ammo.

"I will crush them with my bare hands!"

— When out of ammo.

"I am still better off with the Arisaka."

— When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall

"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

— After buying an SMG off the wall.

"I will show them the path!"

— After buying an SMG off the wall.

"I need more honor!"

— When trying to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"This weapon is lighter than a feather, but twice as deadly."

— After buying an SMG off of the wall.

"One by one, I shall curse them from afar!"

— After buying the M14 off of the wall.

"It's almost a katana."

— Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"Shiny!"

— Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"An honorable weapon."

— Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"Sometimes, I like to keep them close."

— Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

"I will stab with perfection!"

— Upon buying the Bowie Knife.

Power-ups

"Oh... blessings come from above!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up

"The tide tips in our favour!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"The spirits come to aid us!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Double the honor!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"Now we can continue the fight!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"The path of the virtuous gives great gifts!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"The unholy shall kneel before the might of the honorable!"

— Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"I am possessed by the power of the EMPEROR!"

— Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"You will feel the power in my veins!"

— Upon getting an Insta-Kill power-up.

"That will hold them up for a while."

— Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"This gives us time to prime."

— Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"The stake that sticks out gets hammered down!"

— Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Quick, kill as many as you can!"

— Upon getting a Carpenter power-up

"That will keep them out for a thousand year- er, uh, well, a few seconds."

— Upon getting a Carpenter power-up.

"Let the light of a thousand suns purify your souls!"

— Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"Destruction rains on the unholy!"

— Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"...Nice timing!"

— Upon getting a Nuke power-up.

"What is a fire sale?"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"We will take this a sign!"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"If we move quickly, we will be rewarded!"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"There is little time to grab a deal, ha ha!"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"To the box!"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

Perk-a-Colas

"Hmm, a drink that requires a... mature palette."

— Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"Speed Cola speeds up your life!"

— Upon drinking Speed Cola, said in a quite fast voice.

"I am fast shooting Eastern cowboy!"

— Upon drinking Double Tap Root Beer.

"Ahhh. This water is a pure delight!"

— Upon drinking Juggernog.

Pack-a-Punch

"Consequences will never be the same!"

— After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"A true warrior forges his own bread!"

— After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"Patience is a virtue of the honorable!"

— After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"May the weapon be blessed... by the ancestor!"

— After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"I will honor this machine, by slaying many...."

— After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"This will make a weapon that will honor my ancestors."

— After putting a weapon inside the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"A weapon is an extension of ones ownself."

— After taking a newly upgraded weapon out of the Pack-a-Punch.

"Much better"

— Receiving a weapon from the Pack a Punch Machine

"Now with more honor!"

— Receiving a weapon from the Pack a Punch Machine

Mystery Box

"I cannot be defeated!...Probably..."

— After getting an AUG from Mystery Box.

"I will turn them into red mist!"

— After getting a G11 from Mystery Box.

"This is lighter than a feather, but more than twice as deadly!"

— After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"Ahhh... The bullets will rain upon the demon spawn!"

— After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"With this SMG, I bring death!"

— After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

— After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"I will fire honor at them mightily!"

— After getting an SMG from Mystery Box.

"Hmm... A fine weapon."

— After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"They will not expect my ambush!"

— After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box. A reference to how Japanese soldiers ambushed soldiers in WWII.

"They will die without honor!"

— After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"One by one, I will curse them from afar!"

— After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"Ahh... A useful weapon!"

— After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"I will steal what honor they have left!"

— After getting a Sniper Rifle from Mystery Box.

"This does not suit a warrior!"

— After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"A worthless weapon, from an honor-less box!"

— After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"I see the box still dispenses dishonor!"

— After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"Mmm. If only this box had honor!"

— After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"This is unacceptable!"

— After getting a CZ75 or a Python from Mystery Box.

"Double the honor!"

— After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"Ahh, 2 guns is a good thing, for me!"

— After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"I have more firepower!"

— After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"Their disease will be forgotten!"

— After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"I will bring the wrath of the emperor down upon them!"

— After getting dual CZ75's from Mystery Box.

"I will blast them apart!"

— After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"They will feel my anger with every destroyed limb!"

— After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"They will be zen..."

— After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"I shatter their souls!"

— After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"Now these beasts will be destroyed!"

— After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"I will end their suffering!"

— After getting a shotgun from Mystery Box.

"This gun fires pure honor!"

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"The weapon that those who call me "ancestor" will employ!"

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"Now I will send them back into darkness!"

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"They will not know what hit them!"

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"I will purify them!"

— After getting a Ray Gun from Mystery Box.

"I have acquired the Thundergun!"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"A gift from the emperor!"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"Nature's fury, packed into a tube!"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"I will unleash this great power!"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"The skies will shake with my power!"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"*chuckling* The Emperor would be amused!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"*chuckling*, I have found a toy!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"The monkey of honor!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"This monkey holds the cure to their disease!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"This will not fit in my scabbard!"

— After getting a Monkey Bomb from Mystery Box.

"Honour... In spades!"

— After getting a China Lake or M72 LAW from Mystery Box.

"With this, I will purge this place!"

— After getting a China Lake or M72 LAW from Mystery Box.

"I will rain fire on the dishonorable!"

— After getting a China Lake or M72 LAW from Mystery Box.

"This teddy bear fuels my nightmares!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"The box is no longer here! Maybe never was..."

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"This box is cursed!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Who is responsible for this?"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"The box leaves us powerless!"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

Interactive

"Your aim has pleased the Emperor!"

— When Richtofen gets a headshot

"That was good shooting, doctor!"

— When Richtofen gets a headshot

"Oh! They stand no chance against you!"

— When Richtofen gets a headshot

"Oh! Amazing shot!"

— When Richtofen gets a headshot

"You shoot like Samurai!"

— When Richtofen gets a headshot

"Richtofen is surrounded!"

— When Richtofen is swarmed

"We're coming to help, Richtofen!"

— When Richtofen is swarmed

"The doctor could use some assistance!"

— When Richtofen is swarmed

"On our way, doctor!"

— When Richtofen is swarmed

"Coming, Richtofen!"

— When Richtofen is swarmed

"Saving some for later?"

— When Richtofen makes a crawler

"I see you kept a bit of it alive."

— When Richtofen makes a crawler

"I think you made a crawler."

— When Richtofen makes a crawler

"Some of it still lives!"

— When Richtofen makes a crawler

"Crawler, on its way!"

— When Richtofen makes a crawler

"Did you make that too, doctor?"

— When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"You are honered by the presence of the monkey."

— When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"You have been blessed by the Emperor."

— When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"Richtofen found the monkey."

— When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"Hurry up and use it!"

— When Richtofen gets the Monkey Bomb

"You have lucky number, Russian pig!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"That was not your shot, but your breath!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"The sight of you made its head explode!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"If you shoot 1000 bullets, you hit maybe one time!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"They fall before your ugliness!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"Poor Russian."

— When Nikolai is swarmed

"I'll be there someday, Nikolai!"

— When Nikolai is swarmed

"If you would shoot instead of taking shots, maybe that not happen!"

— When Nikolai is swarmed

"Just breathe on them!"

— When Nikolai is swarmed

"Oh! I thought you were one of them!"

— When Nikolai is swarmed

"Of course you didn't kill it all!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"(Mockingly) Oh, he must be attracted to you!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"They want to kill you, Nikolai...maybe can't blame them!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Maybe they find you irritating."

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Looks like you missed a bit."

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Nothing like making friends, Nikolai, eh?"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Maybe it will wind YOU up, Russian!"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"The monkey is better at killing zombies than you!"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Look out, Nikolai! It's watching you!"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Its loud cymbals give you a headache, huh?"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"I bet that monkey hates you."

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

Other

"I require more funds!"

— When attempting to buy something on the wall without the required points.

"I need more honor!"

— When attempting to buy something on the wall without the required points.

"I am not yet ready for the way of the box."

— When attempting to buy a gun from the Mystery Box on the wall without the required points.

"Virtuous folds in the fire of adversity!"

— When being swarmed.

"I see them on all sides!"

— When being swarmed.

"The disease surround me!"

— When being swarmed.

"I must fight through the scourge!"

— When being swarmed.

"It takes discipline to be surrounded by your foes!"

— When being swarmed.

"You will all die again!"

— When being swarmed.

"You will meet your doom!"

— When being swarmed.

"I shall free your souls!"

— When being swarmed.

"You will be purified by honor!"

— When being swarmed.

"Your path leads to your death!"

— When being swarmed.

"You will meet the rage of Takeo!"

— When being swarmed.

"Hey guys! I am surrounded!"

— When being swarmed.

"I am surrounded by all that is unholy!"

— When being swarmed.

"Your disease ends here!"

— When being swarmed.

"The honorable cannot be tainted!"

— When being swarmed.

"Oh!... Sounds like a big monster is attacking the building."

— After turning on the electricity. A reference to the Japanese film, "Godzilla".

"The disease is spreading..."

— Upon turning the electricity on.

"Somehow, they are becoming more foul!"

— Upon turning the electricity on.

"Evil only begats more evil!"

— Upon turning the electricity on.

"Huh? What new evil is afoot?"

— Upon turning the electricity on.

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

— After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock! Maybe they stole this from Japan!"

— Finding the second piece of the meteor. A reference to the meteor at Shi No Numa.

"I have found a grand secret!"

— Upon activating the "115" song easter egg.

"This is a picture of a great warrior!"

— After examining his portrait.

"A picture of The ugly American! Eugh!"

— After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"He is so drunk, I can smell his breath through this portrait!"

— After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Perhaps what once was, is no more, but shall be again!"

— When examining the blacked out portrait.

"Honor to the doctor!"

— After examining Richtofen's portrait.

Cut Quotes

"Oh... I am honored."

— When earning an achievement.

"This will make for a fun time!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I will SHOCK them into submission!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"I finally get the turn...with the Wunderwaffe."

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"BEHOLD! The Electric Katana!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"It is on now freakbags!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box (quoting Dempsey)

"The dragon's breathe will end their suffering!"

— Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"I will burn them off the face of the Earth!"

— Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"They will succumb to the brightness of my honor!"

— Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"Now they will become as ash!"

— Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"This disease will be burned away forever!"

— Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"They will be cured!"

— Receiving the flamethrower from the Mystery Box.

"I burn away your sins!"

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower.

"Darkness becomes light!"

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower.

"That stings like wasabi!"

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower. Wasabi is a plant known for spiciness.

"Zombie Shabu-Shabu!"

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower. Shabu-Shabu is a Japanese soup.

"The rising sun burns you away!"

— Killing zombie/s with the flamethrower.

Edward Richtofen

Beginning

"Oh joy! No power!"

— At the beginning.

"*impatiently* Ja, ja, the power needs to be turned on."

— At the beginning. "Ja" is German for "yes".

"I cannot torture my minions without power... Dempsey, you go turn it on."

— At the beginning.

"Power power power power! It's always the first priority!"

— At the beginning. A reference to a similiar quote in Der Riese.

"There is no power, how suspicious... or obvious!"

— At the beginning.

Killing a Zombie

"I smell the delicate flesh, ja..."

— When Richtofen kills a large number of zombies

"Stay below me, hundewurst!"

— When killing a crawler that attacked him. "Hundewurst" is literally "sausage-dog" in German, but doesn't actually mean anything.

"Did you feel it? Oh I hope you did..."

— Upon getting a kill.

"Yes, COME TO ME, minions!"

— Upon getting a kill.

"I take your pain, I put my straw in it, *slurping noises* AND I DRINK IT UP!"

— Upon getting a kill.

"Oh, it hurts, doesn't it? GOOD!"

— Upon getting a kill.

"The life has been sucked out of that one"

— Upon getting a kill

"Aaaand... he is no longer with us"

— Upon getting an explosive kill

"AAH, IT SMELLS SO WUNDERBAR!"

— After a knife kill.

"No more Doctor Nice Guy!"

— After a knife kill.

"ZE BLOOD! ZE BEAUTIFUL BLOOD!"

— After a knife kill.

"Tiny little organ parts for everybody!"

— Killing a zombie with explosives.

"Oh, ze lovely blood!"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"How can I hear the screams when it has no mouth?"

— Upon getting a headshot.

"Oh, the showers of the damned!"

— After an explosive kill.

"*sings* Fountains of sorrow..."

— After an explosive kill.

"Yes, YES, explode!"

— After an explosive kill.

"That's so... humerus. *laughs*"

— After dismembering a zombie with an explosive. 'Humerus' is the name for a bone in the arm, making it a play on words.

"Ooh, he just went splat!"

— Upon getting a kill with Olympia.

"Where did it go? I don't know! Do you?"

— Upon getting a kill with Ray Gun.

"Do you like my glowing green balls?"

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"Poof! You are gone!"

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"He's become random bits of joy!"

— Getting a kill with the Ray Gun

"The powers of nature at my fingertips!"

— Upon getting a kill with the Thundergun.

"Zey will all flatten LIKE PANCAKES!"

— When Richtofen kills multiple zombies with the Thundergun/Zeus Cannon

"They've all gone mad, we must help zem!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"This is MY creation! And I will destroy it! AND clean it up!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Ja, ja... DIE!!!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Don't be afraid of death...be afraid of THE DOCTOR!!!"

— Upon multiple kills.

"Squishy squishy little bug."

— Upon killing a gas zombie

"Now there is pus everywhere."

— Upon killing a gas zombie

"No, no! You're not supposed to fall apart like that!"

— After dismembering a zombie

"He cannot fight now, he's been... disarmed. *laughs*"

— After shooting off a zombie's arm.

"Look at it, crawling to me!"

— After destroying a zombie's leg.

"It has no legs, but still moves. Interesting."

— After destroying a zombie's leg.

"Dempsey, if you had a brain cell for every time you had a headshot... you'd only be stupid."

— After achieving multiple headshots in a row.

Being hit by a Zombie

"I can smell my own blood! FEAR ME!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Get off my legs, minion!"

— When getting attacked by a crawler.

"How DARE you touch the doctor?"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"LEAVE ME BE!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"Schweinehund! Die!"

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him, "Schweinehund" translates literally to "pig-dog", but means the equivalent of "bastard" in German.

"Don't touch the doctor!"

— Upon being attacked by a zombie.

"No touching the doctor, unless he asks..."

— Upon killing a zombie that attacked him.

"DIE!"

— When attacked by a crawler.

"It's tearing my schins! Delicious!"

— When attacked by a crawler.

Hellhound

"Aww, the poor puppies!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"NEIN! NOT THE PUPPIES!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round. "Nein" is German for "No".

"What have you done to the POOR PUPPIES?!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Aah, I don't like it when they lick me!"

— After killing a hellhound.

"Mommy said not to hurt animals any more!"

— At the beginning of a Hellhound round.

"Go back to Maxis, Samantha!"

— Upon killing a Hellhound.

"My poor little accidents... STAY AWAY!"

— At the start of a Hellhound round

Downed or revived

"IT TICKLES! IT TICKLES! I KNEW IT, IT TICKLES!"

— When downed.

"IT CANNOT BE! I'M DOWN!"

— When downed.

"No, no. I am not ready for hell, I don't even have my good shoes."

— When downed. A reference to a similiar quote in Der Riese.

"I'll get you something nice when this is over."

— After being revived.

"I am ALIVE!!!"

— After being revived

"Did the voices tell you to save me?"

— After being revived.

"Ja, danke! (Yes, thanks!)"

— After being revived. This is the only quote Rictofen speaks entirely in German.

"The Doctor needs a nurse!"

— When downed.

"Death calls my name!"

— When downed.

Ammo

"Low on ammo!"

— When low on ammo.

"How can I be running out of ammo?!"

— When low ammo

"Without bullets I will have to resort to... *gasp* STABBING!"

— When out of ammo.

"I need to find some ammunition... *wailing*"

— When out of ammo.

"No ammo is NO FUN!"

— When out of ammo.

"I have no ammunition."

— When out of ammo.

"No rounds, no wounds, NO JOY!"

— When out of ammo.

Buying weapons off the wall

"Yes, now their kidneys will be all MINE! But none for you, Dempsey!"

— After buying a M14 off the wall.

"What? The voices are louder!"

— Upon buying a MP5K off the wall.

"Oh, this is just so heavy!"

— Buying M14 off the wall

"The MP40! Wunderbar!"

— Upon buying a MP40 off the wall. "Wunderbar" is "wonderful" in German.

"Yes, my children, I am coming!"

— Upon buying an Olympia off the wall.

"Of course they still have the BEST WEAPON EVER MADE HERE!"

— Buying MP40 off the wall.

"An autopsy is more easily performed with a shotgun."

— Upon buying a Stakeout or Olympia off the wall.

"The Doctor is well-armed!"

— After buying a SMG off the wall

"Vhat?! I am nothing but a peasant!"

— When attempting to buy a weapon without requisite points.

"Alas, the doctor is to poor to buy this."

— When trying to buy a weapon with insufficient funds

Power-ups

"A gift from Sam? But why?!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"More time to play with my pretty ones!"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Ammo to the max, ja?"

— Upon getting a Max Ammo power-up.

"Attention shoppers, we have a special... ON DEATH!"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"Oh, I love a good bargain!"

— Upon getting a Fire Sale power-up.

"MORE SCORE!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"I am paid for pain!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

"This must be the work of the Masons."

— Upon getting a Carpenter power-up; A reference to Freemason.

"I feel THE POWER!"

— Upon getting a Insta-Kill power-up.

"I will please you now... ZE VOICES!"

— Upon getting a Insta-Kill power-up.

"They seem to have all gone boom!"

— Upon getting a nuke

"The flames... of the damned!"

— Upon getting a Nuke. A possible reference to a similiar quote in Der Riese.

"I get paid double for my effort!"

— Upon getting a Double Points power-up.

Perk-a-Colas

"Yes! She sounds like a sweet little specimen."

— Upon drinking Jugger-nog.

"For the revival of ze un-fittest!"

— Upon drinking Quick Revive.

"I can't be sure but I think the active ingredient rots your mind."

— Upon drinking Speed Cola.

"Hmm, I prefer hefeweizen. This seems level."

— Upon Drinking Double Tap.

Pack-a-Punch

"*whistling*"

— While waiting for Pack-a-Punch Machine.

"I'm going to kill SOOO many now."

— After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Doctor is ready for war now!"

— After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"The Fatherland would be so proud! It's so emotional..."

— After receiving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Can you feel their cries coming?"

— After Recieving a Pack-a-Punched weapon.

"Hey Dempsey, WATCH YOUR BACK!"

— After recieving an Awful Lawton from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

"Tic, toc, tic, toc, oh this takes so long!"

— While waiting on the Pack-a-Punch Machine

"So many gears, such German ingenuity!"

— While waiting on the Pack-a-Punch Machine.

Mystery Box

"I like the funny sound it makes!"

— After receiving the FN FAL, Ray Gun, Famas, or the Galil from the Mystery Box.

"They will submit to darkness... *high pitched* YES!"

— After getting a HK21 from Mystery Box.

"I can kill more than one at a time!"

— After getting a sniper rifle from the Mystery Box.

"Ugh, this is just so... heavy."

— After getting a sniper rifle from the Mystery Box.

"Ja, this make a big hole! I like big holes."

— After getting a SPAS-12 from Mystery Box.

"They will be all over the floor! Und de valls!! Und the ceiling!"

— After getting an explosive weapon from the Mystery Box.

"I need to hurry up and shoot this!"

— After receiving an explosive weapon from the Mystery Box.

"Could it be? The DG-3!"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"Could this be the DG-3, the DG-3 that is just for me?"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"So THIS is what Maxis was keeping from me!"

— After getting a Thundergun from Mystery Box.

"I will please you now... ZE VOICES!"

— After getting a SPAS-12 or China Lake from the Mystery Box

"This will never work!"

— When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"This makes me ANGRY!"

— When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"Ze doctor is not pleased."

— When receiving a Python or CZ75 from the Mystery Box

"Samantha, didn't I teach you a lesson about this?"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Samantha? Samantha wherever you are going?"

— After getting a Teddy Bear from the Mystery Box.

"Maybe you moved... because you like me?"

— After the Mystery Box teleports

"Ratatatatatatata Ratatatata! Ahhahahaha!"

— Upon receiving a G11 from the Mystery Box

"Why do they love you so much, little monkey?"

— After receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box

"You remind me of Patient 13225, only you make less noise when I stick things in you."

— After receiving the Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box. This is a reference to Element 115, as the square root to 13225 is 115.

"The amazing monkey of POWER!"

— Said after getting a Monkey Bomb from the Mystery Box.

"Joy!"

— After getting a Ray Gun

Interactive

"Ah, das ist good, Nikolai!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot (Das ist is "that is" in German)

"You take the Illuminati up on their offer, no?"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"Straight shooting from a drunk Russian. How quaint."

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"Excellent shooting, Nikolai!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"Perhaps aim at Dempsey next time."

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"I'll buy you some vodka!"

— When Nikolai gets a headshot

"Don't worry Nikolai, I will probably not let them hurt you."

— When Nikolai is swarmed

"Back, minions! Stay away from his vodka!"

— When Nikolai gets swarmed

"I will help you, Russian!"

— When Nikolai gets swarmed

"The doctor is on his way!"

— When Nikolai gets swarmed

"Nikolai needs our help!"

— When Nikolai gets swarmed

"Crawlers, they make such cute noises!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Nikolai, you've made me a new present!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Thank you so much for your gift, Nikolai!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"He looks so cute and happy!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"(High-pitched) A little crawling minion...(Angrily) I WANT ONE!"

— When Nikolai makes a crawler

"Fuzzy fuzzy, was a monkey!"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Give him drink, Nikolai, and send him on his way!"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"He causes so much sorrow, Nikolai!"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Oh, joy for Nikolai!"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"Do you hear him talking to you, Nikolai?"

— When Nikolai gets the Monkey Bomb

"If I could bottle up your luck, I could make a lot of money, Dempsey."

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"Dempsey, you marrow sucking...freakbag, is it?"

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"Why don't you just shut your ignorant hole, Dempsey! And your mouth!"

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"Dempsey, if you had a brain cell for every headshot, you'd only be stupid!"

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"No, Dempsey! I shot that one!"

— When Dempsey gets a headshot

"You deserve to die, Dempsey!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"I will help you, but only because I want to be the one to eat your heart!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"Dempsey is surrounded! JOY!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"(Tauntingly) Oh, look at the big, brave American soldier, needing help from the doctor!"

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"(Laughs) Dempsey's being tortured by my little friends."

— When Dempsey is swarmed

"One day, I will taste your tears, Dempsey."

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"I hate you Dempsey. I even hate your eyes."

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"Dempsey has made a crawler. Now everyone can do it."

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"You have made them multiply. Maybe that's how YOU got here!"

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"Dempsey, look at what you have done! *clicks tongue*"

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"You are so annoying, Dempsey."

— When Dempsey makes a crawler

"Nein! Dempsey shouldn't be allowed to have this much fun!"

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

"Oh, Dempsey, you are now my favorite."

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

"You see the family resemblance, American."

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

"Oh, how I hate you now, little monkey."

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

"Not Dempsey! He doesn't deserve the fun!"

— When Dempsey gets the Monkey Bomb

Other

"Alas, the doctor is too poor to buy this..."

— When attempt to open a door without requisite points.

"What?! I am nothing but a peasant!"

— When attempting to buy something on the wall without the required points.

"The infernal box will not give it's secrets freely..."

— When attempting to use the Mystery Box without the required points.

"Ah, the bathroom, not a very intersting place, unless you're German... LIKE ME!!!"

— Upon entering the bathroom at first floor.

"Doctor Maxis almost had his undead army if only he could have broken the trust barrier."

— Upon entering the dressing room.

"those seats, that screen, they wanted to implant the mind with instructions!"

— upon entering the theatre.

"an ally, how quaint."

— upon entering the alley.

"They are shaking down the roof, what a pity!"

— After the power is switched on.

"That doesn't sound good."

— After turning on the power.

"I found a piece of the meteor!"

— After found the first piece of the meteor.

"I found another rock! Maybe they stole this from Japan!"

— Finding the second piece of the meteor. Reference to the meteor in Shi No Numa

"I have found the last piece!"

— Finding the last Meteor.

"I have found a delicious tune!"

— Upon activating the "115" song easter-egg.

"Oh look, its me... but not quite as magnificent!"

— After examining his portrait.

"Hello Dempsey. Oh, wait, its just a portrait... AN UGLY ONE!"

— After examining Dempsey's portrait.

"His eyes are following me!"

— After examining Nikolai's portrait.

"Oh, it's a picture of the Monkey Bomb!"

— After examining Takeo's portrait.

"This one did not photograph so well."

— After examining the blacked-out portrait.

Cut Quotes

"I have been recognized by Treyar... the Illuminati!"

— When earning an achievement (refers to Treyarch).

"OHHHH! The Wunderwaffe DG-2! (slighty cries) I missed you!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"This will be the SHOCK!....of a lifetime...(giggles)"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Oh, the element of POWER!!"

— Receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-2 from the Mystery Box

"Can it be the DG-3? The DG-3 that's just for me?"

— When receiving the Wunderwaffe DG-3 JZ from the Pack-a-Punch machine.

Demonic announcer(Samantha Maxis)

"Fetch me their souls!"

— At begining of a Hellhound round.

"Bye bye!"

— When a player revives the Teddy Bear in the Mystery Box.

"Kaboom!"

— When a Nuke power-up is picked up.

"Carpenter!"

— When a Carpenter power-up is picked up.

"Insta-kill!"

— When an Insta-kill power-up is picked up.

"Fire Sale!"

— When a Fire Sale power-up is picked up.

"Max Ammo!"

— When a Max Ammo power-up is picked up.

"Double points!"

— When a Double Points power-up is picked up.

"Attention, Zombie shoppers! Time for a Fire Sale. Until the music stops, box rolls ten Dollars, at a convenient location near you! (evil laugh)"

— A longer version of the Fire Sale announcement, found in PC files.

Trivia

• PC game files reveal recorded quotes from all four characters referring to the Wunderwaffe DG-2 and the Flamethrower (which isn't a standalone weapon in the game). It is unknown why either were removed. Many of these cut quotes can be heard in maps that feature these weapons.
• Also, an extended version of the Fire sale cry was found, as seen above.
• Sometimes, when playing as Richtofen on Solo, he will say a multiplayer quote that involves Tank Dempsey
• The characters seem to confuse the M14, an assault rifle, for a sniper rifle based on many of these quotes.
• This is the only map with cut quotes that actually makes references to the PS3 trophy/Xbox achievements.

v • d • e Zombies Mode (Story) (Timeline) Games Normal: Call of Duty: World at War · Call of Duty: Black Ops · Call of Duty: Black Ops II Other: Call of Duty: Zombies · Call of Duty: Black Ops Zombies · Call of Duty Black Ops DS Maps Nacht der Untoten · Verrückt · Shi No Numa · Der Riese · Kino der Toten · "Five" · Dead Ops Arcade · Ascension · Call of the Dead · Shangri-La · Moon · Green Run · Nuketown Zombies · Die Rise · Mob of the Dead Dead Ops Arcade Locations: Island · Courtyard · Prison · Cave · Marketplace · Urban · Street · Facility · Forest · Tropical Forest TranZit Stops: Bus Depot · Diner · Farm · Power Station · Town Other TranZit Locations: Tunnel · The Prototype · Pylon · Hunter's Cabin Areas of Alcatraz: Cell Block iOS Exclusive: Tutorial (Zombies) · Tutorial (Black Ops Zombies) Black Ops DS Maps: House · Facility · Temple · Overlook Playable Characters Marines Tank Dempsey · Nikolai Belinski · Takeo Masaki · Edward Richtofen · Samantha Maxis John F. Kennedy · Robert McNamara · Fidel Castro · Richard Nixon Sarah Michelle Gellar · Robert Englund · Danny Trejo · Michael Rooker Abigail "Misty" Briarton · Marlton Johnson · Russman · Samuel J. Stuhlinger Billy Handsome · Salvatore DeLuca · Albert "Weasel" Arlington · Michael "Finn" O'Leary CDC Soldiers · CIA Agents Alcatraz Guards · Alcatraz Prisoners Zombies iOS Exclusive: Rook Black Ops DS Characters: Michael Shaw · Yuri Raslov Gamemodes Survival · TranZit · Grief · Turned Characters Demonic Announcer · Ludvig Maxis · Sophia · Peter McCain · H. Porter · Fluffy · Gersch · Yuri Zavoyski · Harvey Yena · Gary · Brock · Schuster · Groph · Bus Driver · Jack S. Flatts · George Barkley · Stanley Ferguson Factions Group 935 · Ascension Group · CIA · CDC Melee Weapons Bowie Knife · Sickle · Shovel · Galvaknuckles · Zombie Shield · Golden Spork · BRAAAINS... Wonder Weapons Ray Gun · Wunderwaffe DG-2 · Monkey Bomb · Thundergun · Winter's Howl · Gersch Device · Matryoshka Doll · V-R11 · Scavenger · 31-79 JGb215 · Wave Gun · Quantum Entanglement Device · Thrustodyne Aeronautics Model 23 · Sliquifier · Blundergat · Hell's Retriever · Golden Spork Buildables TranZit: Turbine · Zombie Shield · Turret · Electric Trap · Thrustodyne Aeronautics Model 23 · NAV Table · Bus · Power Switch · Pack-a-Punch Machine Die Rise: Sliquifier · Trample Steam · NAV Table Mob of the Dead: Icarus · Zombie Shield · Acid Gat Kit Enemies Normal: Zombie · Hellhound · Crawler Zombie · Pentagon Thief · Space Monkey · George A. Romero · Zombie Monkey · Napalm Zombie · Shrieker Zombie · Astronaut Zombie · Avogadro · Denizen · Jumping Jack · Brutus Dead Ops Arcade: Prisoner Zombie · Engineer Zombie · Bulls · Cosmic Silverback The Room of Fate The Fate of Firepower · The Fate of Furious Feet · The Fate of Fortitude · The Fate of Friendship Miscellaneous Afterlife Mode · Air Lock · Centrifuge · Character Dolls · Element 115 · Excavator · Focusing Stone · Hacker · Maxis Diary · M.P.D. · Mud-Pit Maze · Pack-a-Punched weapons · Persistent Upgrades · P.E.S. · Punji Stakes · Receiving Area · Teddy Bear · Vril Generator · Vril Sphere · Warden's Key Utilities Mystery Box · Sniper Cabinet · Power Switch · Electro-Shock Defenses · Flogger · Zipline · MDT · Mainframe · Pack-a-Punch Machine · Elevator · Sentry Gun · Fire Pit · Lunar Lander · Flinger · Ice Slide · Water Slide · Mine Cart · Geyser · Reservoir Trap · Gravity Lift · Bus · Fridge · Deposit Box · NAV Table · Gondola · Fan Trap · Acid Trap · Tower Trap · Voltmeter Perk-a-Cola Quick Revive · Double Tap Root Beer · Speed Cola · Juggernog · Stamin-Up · PhD Flopper · Deadshot Daiquiri · Mule Kick · Tombstone Soda · Who's Who · Electric Cherry Canceled Perks: Pronaide · Tufbrew · Amm-O-Matic · Candolier Power-Ups Normal: Carpenter · Max Ammo · Insta-Kill · Nuke · Double Points · Death Machine · Fire Sale · Bonfire Sale · Random Perk Bottle · Lightning Bolt · Bonus Points · Zombie Flesh · Hell's Retriever Dead Ops Arcade: Barrel · SPAS-12 · Chicken · Monkey Bomb · Electric Orb · M2 Flamethrower · China Lake · Ray Gun · Boots · Death Machine · Nuke · Lightning Bolt · Soldier Statue Quotes Verrückt · Shi No Numa · Der Riese · "Five" · Kino der Toten · Ascension · Call of the Dead · Shangri-La · Moon · Green Run · Nuketown Zombies · Die Rise · Mob of the Dead Original Characters Trapped · Eclipse · Richtofen's Grand Scheme Musical Easter Eggs "Damned" · "Undone" · "Lullaby for a Dead Man" · "The One" · "Beauty of Annihilation" · "115" · "Won't Back Down" · "Abra Macabre" · "A Slight Chance of Zombies" · "Raining Teddy Bears" · "Abracadavre" · "A Cold Wind Blows" · "Not Ready to Die" · "Paraphony" · "Samantha's Lullaby" · "Pareidolia" · "Coming Home" · "Nightmare" · "Re-Damned" · "8-bit Pareidolia" · "Carry On" · "Carrion" · "We All Fall Down" · "Rusty Cage" · " Where Are We Going" Easter Eggs iOS: Peter's Grave Normal: Fly Trap · Casimir Mechanism · Original Characters Trapped · Eclipse · Richtofen's Grand Scheme · Tower of Babble · High Maintenance · Pop Goes the Weasel/No One Escapes Alive Radios/Film Reels/T.V. Messages/Audio Logs: Shi No Numa · Der Riese · Kino der Toten · Ascension · Call of the Dead · Shangri-La · Moon · Green Run · Nuketown Zombies · Die Rise · Mob of the Dead Central Intelligence Agency Data System Servers: Dreamland · DerRiese Server Users: Dr. J. Robert Oppenheimer · Dr. Vannevar Bush · T. Walker