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There are multiple radios from different characters as well as wisps from Monty and the Shadowman in Revelations. Monty's wisps can be found after round 6 and Shadowman's wisps can be found after round 12. In the Nacht Der Untoten area, one can find unique Monty's wisps about the characters.
The audio reels can be found during the main easter-egg quest.
Radio #1 (Origins area) Edit
Ludvig Maxis: "Where are they? They should have arrived by now."
Doctor Monty: "Oh Maxis, you worry too much. In fact, aside from worrying, what do you do these days? Far as I can tell, you just repeat whatever I say in radio messages! No offense, of course, it's important to feel relevant. Big fan of what you do."
Teleporter starts working, indicating someone's arrival.
Ludvig Maxis: "Look, they're here!"
Doctor Monty: "Well well well, sometimes free will does work out. Look at how he's used it, trying to right wrongs instead of skulking about in the house talking into a microphone."
Sirens begin wailing.
Ludvig Maxis: "Put the toys away children. Make sure the windows are locked before you come down to the basement."
Doctor Monty: "Good call on the windows there, Max. This whole process can get a bit... messy."
Radio #2 (Der Eisendrache area) Edit
Robert McNamara: "This is Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara. I am transmitting on a secure channel in the most dire of circumstances. The Pentagon is under attack from an unknown enemy. As of this moment, I am safely ensconced inside a janitor's closet. Unfortunately, I fear the President and the VIPs may not have found similar safe haven (crying). From what I have observed, our attackers may be... blighted by some kind of sickness. Either that or they're just dirty hippies under the influence of hallucinogenic substances. I can only hope that this message will bring rescue. Until then, please, pray for me."
Radio #3 (Kino der Toten area) Edit
Doctor Monty: "Our revels now are ended. These our actors, as I foretold you, were all spirits, and are melted into air, into thin air; and, like the baseless fabric of this vision, the cloud-capped towers, the gorgeous palaces, the solemn temples, the great globe itself, Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve; And, like this insubstantial pageant faded, leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little lives are rounded with a sleep."
Radio #4 (Verrückt area) Edit
Doctor Monty: "Midway this way of life we're bound upon, I woke to find myself in a dark wood, where the right road was wholly lost and gone. Ay me! How hard to speak of it - that rude and rough and stubborn forest! The mere breath of memory stirs the old fear in the blood; But when at last I stood beneath a steep hill's side, which closed that valley's wandering maze whose dread had pierced me to the heart-root deep, then I looked up, and saw the morning rays mantle its shoulder from that planet bright which guides men's feet aright on all their ways."
Radio #5 (Verrückt area) Edit
Automated Voice: "R-4808N 27 14 06 115 48 40"
Unknown Woman: "I hope you're receiving this transmission, Peter. If you are not, then all hope is lost. You must know by now that we failed to contain the asylum, that we had to move the experiment here. Location. The numbers will guide you. The Giant must remain (static) at all costs, repeat, Der Riese must (static) at all costs. The DG-2 experiments continue. You'll be our only advantage now. Find Doctor Richtofen and Doctor Maxis, they may know what's going on. The use of 115 is dangerous at best. I'm not sure if we can continue here. We've lost most of our best (static). I hope you get this. I hope it hasn't happened there too, but I'm almost out of hope."
Automated Voice: "60 54 06.96 101 55 44.94"
Radio #6 (Verrückt area) Edit
John "Banana": "Field report, a quiet retort, the mission has all gone south. It's Johnny here, Smokey is near most likely with meat in his mouth. We've been here for ages, I ran out of pages but now have a mic to record. The mission has failed, McCain must've bailed and now we must fight off a horde. We came to Verrückt with low ammo and luck and now Smokey's lost his head. We went down the halls, they bit Smokey's balls and now he walks with the dead. They call me Banana, I worked at a cabana, I rhyme to keep myself sane. Though Smokey's dead, I'm holding his head, but right now he's eating my brain..."
Radio #7 (Shangri-La area) Edit
Unknown Woman: "It's been six weeks since (static) and the rest of the Call of the Dead cast and crew went missing. Hollywood lost its fucking mind at the story. An entire production vanishes? Crazy talk! I told (static) this is why you don't shoot in Siberia. So with (static) agent on line one and (static) manager on line two. I need to sort this quickly. I rather have (static) zombies come from me than an agent. That's real horror. I don't need that."
Radio #8 (Shangri-La area) Edit
Unknown Woman: "I started going through his research and good fucking Lord this is a confusing mess. So much shit about time travel, different dimensions. Honestly I'm not even sure (static) was getting into, you couldn't make this stuff up! A mad German scientist, a foul-mouthed American, a drunk Soviet and a warrior Japanese soldier, all working together?"
Radio #9 (Shangri-La area) Edit
Unknown Woman: "So I started with a simple one, something about two guys named Brock and Gary, looking for... Agartha? They finished like... dead, figured I'd start there. Next thing I know, I'm in this jungle and it's hot and humid and the sky goes black, like dark black. I looked up, there's an eclipse and this things started chasing me, like zombies. Trust me, I know how it sounds. I've been fighting them so long now, I should be dead. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have died but it just keeps going."
Radio #10 (Shangri-La area) Edit
Unknown Woman: "I start setting up these traps. Pretty damn proud of them if I do say so myself. Wait, I hear something."
Brock: "...can't help but think they hold some kind of key clues. We should investigate the stepped pyramid for some clues."
Gary: "I think we should get the hell out of here while we still have a chance!"
Brock and the unknown woman talk simultaneously
Unknown Woman: "Come on, just a little closer..."
Brock: "But we're so close to proving the existence of Ag-!"
Bear trap is heard going off
Unknown Woman: "Ugh, finally. Sorry, the only thing more annoying than the undead are those two guys, whoever they are. Anyway, I've been trying to get some bars on my cell[phone] for days and I'm having no luck. I swear, if I die a few more times I may actually lose it. At least then I'll have those agents off my back."
Radio #11 (Mob of the Dead area) Edit
Reporter: "So I just sat down with Stanley Ferguson, night guard at Alcatraz. He told me a heck of a tale. A few years back, four inmates, three mobsters and some weasel had this brilliant plan to escape the Rock. I know they sound like real geniuses these guys. Anyway this "Weasel" was quite the talker, he had these guys convinced they could escape. He told them he could build a plane and that together they'd all fly right off the Rock."
Radio #12 (Mob of the Dead area) Edit
Reporter: "Now the Weasel had plans and drawings and everything, I saw 'em, but even if they built it no way that baby would ever fly. These mobsters, it's lost on me, they were smart guys. I mean Sal DeLuca? No way you could convince a man of his caliber, something so absurd. So I guess at some point the whole sorry truth came out and the Weasel finds himself cornered. They did him good, left him bleeding to death on the cold stone roof. They all got the chair for it and that was that. Sad to think that three guys like that could find themselves swinging, all because they bought into the lies of a delusional con man."
Radio #13 (Mob of the Dead area) Edit
Reporter: "Anyway, no clue why Mr. Rapt wanted me to meet this Stanley first but I'm heading to the city now. Something about tracking down three doozies and a floozy. Oh yeah, not to mention those artifacts in the South Pacific and Russia. I don't know what that's about. I never even met this guy, why he does stay in the shadows, real weirdo. But the money's good."
Automated Voice: "Red line departing for the Waterfront District."
Reporter: "Maybe it will all make sense when I get there."
Audio Reel #1 Edit
Sophia: "After many weeks of failure and frustration, Doctor Maxis finally achieved the breakthrough he'd been searching for. The results were immediate... and startling. In the case of subject two-six his instances of violent outbursts were non-existent. His docility appeared... permanent. Unfortunately, while we prepared to implement the treatment on the other subjects, there was an... incident. During his few tests this morning, subject two-six attacked a handler. Two-six and the handler were both destroyed. Maxis believes subject two-six only attacked the handler. He does not know I was attacked as well. I have observed a developing pattern of high fevers and cold sweats. My thoughts are... erratic. My relationship with Ludvig is... complicated. I fear I cannot keep this secret from him for long.
Audio Reel #2 Edit
Ludvig Maxis: "The break in programming coincided with the flashing lights and loud noises of the fire alarm in the test facility."
Knocking on door
Ludvig Maxis: "One moment."
Ludvig Maxis: "What is it?"
Sophia: "You wanted to see me Ludvig?"
Ludvig Maxis: "Sophia, yes. Do come in. Sit down my dear. Have some tea."
Sophia: "Is everything alright?"
Ludvig Maxis: "No, no, everything's fine. Drink your tea. I heard a... nefarious rumor earlier. Regarding the field test with subject two-six. Are you feeling alright?"
Sophia: "Of course."
Ludvig Maxis: "Just strange, this rumor. May I see your arm?"
Sophia: "What? No. Why do you need to see my arm?"
Ludvig Maxis: "Relax Sophia, I would never hurt you. You know that right?"
Sophia: "Of course. But-"
Ludvig Maxis: "And you know I care deeply for you."
Sophia: "Yes, but-"
Sophia chokes, coughs and falls to the ground.
Ludvig Maxis: "Yes, yes, yes. Then you know everything I'm about to do is for your own good."
Audio Reel #3 Edit
Ludvig Maxis: This is Doctor Ludvig Maxis. Beginning preliminary trials for the Strategic Operations Planning Heuristic Intelligence Analyser.
Machine is activated.
S.O.P.H.I.A.: Hello? Mein Gott, what’s happening? Ludvig? Doctor Maxis?
Ludvig Maxis: Hello Sophia.
S.O.P.H.I.A.: Where am I? It’s... so dark here. I can’t see anything.
Ludvig Maxis: That’s all perfectly normal. How are you feeling?
S.O.P.H.I.A.: I feel... nothing. What have you done to me?
Ludvig Maxis: I saved you Sophia. I saved you the only way I know how.
S.O.P.H.I.A.: Oh Maxis... What have you done?
S.O.P.H.I.A. starts crying.
Monty Wisps Edit
Doctor Monty: "In retrospect, it wasn't the best idea to leave the most powerful artifact in this, or any other dimension, just lying on the fucking table! But in all fairness, Maxis was a bit of a wild card. I mean you remember, he was actually just a little drone the last time you saw him. Anyway, he's in the Summoning Key now, and buggered if I know how we're gonna get him out."
Doctor Monty: "If anything else, I should probably clarify. This. Is. It. The Aether. The Infinite. Otherwise known as Agartha. Or is Ar-gar-tha? Well whatever way you slice it, or spell it, it's the reality beyond. Beyond the world you know. Beyond your perception. Just so we're clear, I'm absolutely not talking about death, that's a whole other can of worms. Speaking of which, you know how people say when you cut a worm in half, both parts keep on living? Well, they do! Kind of.. for a bit. But then one of them dies, not sure if it's the ass or the head, but that's the problem with worms! They're a bit short on distinguishing features. Ehh, what was the point I was making?"
Doctor Monty: "In the beginning, and believe me there was a beginning, everything was in its proper place. Time was linear, just as it should be. But a little thing called Element 115 changed all that. Especially when, what was it again? Oh yes, when Group 935 came along. Once they started messing around with it, they buggered everything up. 115 shouldn't even exist in your dimension! But, nonetheless, here we are! Bloody teleporters."
Doctor Monty: "Once Element 115 came along, the Apothicons weren't far behind. Have I mentioned them yet? The Apothicons are beings that feed on energy. Wait, that's an oversimplification. Energy is a rather broad term. It may be better to explain it as the spark of life, the purest form of energy that ever existed. Is that better? Hmm not sure.. sounds a bit hippity-dippity new-agey when I said it out loud. Anyway, this energy, the Apothicons feed on it. They conquer and consume dimensions, it's kind of.. their thing. The ball-crushingly bad thing is that their appetite is ferocious, veracious, insatiable even. They're hungry. Very hungry. Bottom line, if you don't sort shit out, they're going to gobble up this universe just like they gobbled up so many others."
Doctor Monty: "Now here's the thing: I knew a bloke, and I'm talking way, way, wayyy back. He was the sweetest, most charming individual you could ever wish to meet. He was funny, too! We used to have a good ole laugh together, honestly my sides hurt thinking about it. He was my friend... He was my best friend. And then Apothicons got ahold of him. Since then he's pretty much acted as their agent, zipping around the galaxy. Wait.. I keep changing it, don't I? Which do you prefer: Universe? Multiverse? Omni-fucking verse ohh it doesn't really fucking matter, does it? Ehh, lets get on with it. Uhm, short version is: He's no longer sweet, charming or funny. He's what brought them here. When he escaped the key."
Doctor Monty: "The Keepers, an ancient order who've been granted the wisdom to see beyond the limitations of their own realm. Even while the rest of mankind scrabbled around in the dirt, drinking their own piss, the Keepers took the mantle of benevolent watchers. Like the seers and sages of the old world, they could foresee how the actions of the Apothicons would lead to the destruction of life itself, the keepers have always been here. Much like your good selves, they too were scattered and fragmented across the multiverse. They may have acted erratically but know this, their actions were only ever concerned with the preservation of life itself. Remember what I said before about energy?"
Doctor Monty: "The minute you people teleported for the first time, you changed the rules. How am I supposed to keep track if you keep moving the pieces? Even when you were just a little problem, brewing in the far corner of existence, I tried to throw you a bone or two. I told you this, didn’t I? The magic box of weapons, the little clues here and there. I always tried to give you a little help without drawing too much attention to myself. The thing is though, I can't just magic things out of thin air. I have to manipulate things that already exist in your reality, like the perk drinks. They were something originally cooked up by Group 935. I just (whistles) I just used them for my own ends. Heh, I honestly don't even know how they work. I-I-I swear! As for the songs: Don't get me started!"
Doctor Monty: "I know the Shadowman is probably talking to you. Don't trust him! He's evil. I wouldn't piss on him if he was on fire. I bet he's saying all sorts of terrible things, spreading all kinds of rumours about me. By the way, I spell rumours with a u. After the o, before the r. That's a nice little easter egg. In fact, it's everything."
Doctor Monty: "It's too much information sometimes, know what I mean? I know you must be struggling to take it all in, but can you imagine how I feel? I've got heart felt prayers to the Angels, dying people's wish lists and letters to fucking Santa coming out of my bleeding ears! It's hard to keep up, honestly! I hardly ever get any time for myself, or even just time to stand back and appreciate all the good that I've done. And now, I've got the bloody Shadowman and the Apothicockycons throwing an intergalactic spanner in the works!"
Doctor Monty: "Here's something I just noticed: All of you died pretty much as you lived. Dempsey bravely followed orders. Takeo accepted his fate with honour. Nikolai battled with... his own demons. It's funny, isn't it? Richtofen is the only one that really didn't see it coming. I'm quite pleased with that."
Doctor Monty: "I made an app once, at least I think that's what you call it. It started off really simple: All people did was press a button to indicate whether or not they had a good day. I tracked the data for everyone in the world, I mean it was meant to help me understand people. It worked. But even in it's simplest form it was too much to take in. It actually made me depressed. It's hard trying to please everyone. Ahh, I'm getting worked up, honestly! You have NO idea how hard it's been from my side. Sorry... Keep up the good work. I'm sure you'll sort it out."
Doctor Monty: "If I'm honest, I'm a bit scared... Seriously. Brown trousers time. I mean, I know it's the same old story: Forces of Good and Evil battling it out, yea yea, but no one ever tells you how much hard work it fucking is! You know, I'm not ALL powerful. It's always been a struggle to stay on top of it, now more than ever! If it had been entirely up to me, it would've been a lot more straightforward I tell you. Do what you can, eh?"
Doctor Monty: "Okay, I think I've found a way to talk to you. Given all of the shit hitting the fan, there's not much I can do except give you a bit of encouragement. How about I give you some facts... little ones... quick ones... fun ones... It'll be good for morale."
Doctor Monty: "Right, here we go. It's a bit like the news, this... I mean reading it, on television... Sorry, I-I-I'm rambling. You should see what the Shadowman's doing back here aha, okay?"
Doctor Monty: "Apparently, Richtofen's got a problem with nuts. Make of that what you will."
Doctor Monty: "Edward doesn't like spicy foods, his brain gets distracted. Bad things happen."
Doctor Monty: "Richtofen favorite song is "My Way". He wonders when he'll get to sing it."
Doctor Monty: "At the orphanage, Edward told everyone his dad was a famous scientist. They scrolled "Teddy is a liar" on the schoolyard wall."
Doctor Monty: "Edward Richtofen has trouble sleeping without a teddy bear; A problem that didn't present itself until he was an adult."
Doctor Monty: "Edward Richtofen has a desperate need to feel appreciated. His ego is actually very fragile."
Doctor Monty: "Takeo has never once tasted american chocolate. I made sure I spared him that particular brand of suffering."
Doctor Monty: "The extent of Takeo's suffering at the hands of Division 9 is far, far worse than you can imagine."
Doctor Monty: "Takeo has a secret hobby. He does not speak of it for fear that he will be mocked."
Doctor Monty: "Takeo is actually pronounced Tack-k-oh. Or is it Tack-e-oh? Tack-ee-oh? It's one of life's biggest mysteries."
Doctor Monty: "Takeo knows that somewhere, sometime, he wasn't betrayed. He was honored."
Doctor Monty: "Throw a grape in the air, Takeo Masaki can slice it clean in half even without a katana."
Doctor Monty: ""Tank" Dempsey once bet fifty dollars that he could eat fifty hard-boiled eggs in fifteen minutes."
Doctor Monty: "It's is rumoured that "Tank" Dempsey's real name is Thomas. Ahh not true it's Ringo. Only joking (giggle)...or am I?"
Doctor Monty: ""Tank" Dempsey holds the all-time record for one-arm pushups. Even in the universe where everyone only had one!"
Doctor Monty: "On over eighteen million occasions, Dempsey gave his life for the sake of his team. He's a bona fide american hero."
Doctor Monty: ""Tank" Dempsey once caught his testicles in the springs of a bed frame. And he lived to tell the tale. So remember kids, keep your mattresses tight!"
Doctor Monty: "Dempsey can throw a grenade further, farther than the greatest professional baseball players. He attributed this skill to his solitary arm-training regime."
Doctor Monty: "The only time "Tank" Dempsey ever feared for his life was fifteen minutes after taking an ill-advised bet."
Doctor Monty: "Nikolai once bottle-fed vodka to a bear cub. They both regretted it... before and after."
Doctor Monty: "Nikolai Belinski's grasp of the pros and cons of the capitalist and communist economies is tenuous at best."
Doctor Monty: "Nikolai loved his wife. He was never the same after she died."
Doctor Monty: "Nikolai once had a brother. I don't know why he forgot him."
Doctor Monty: "For many years, I tried watering down Nikolai's vodka. He just drank more."
Doctor Monty: "Nikolai's breath is legendary. Even though no one has ever actually smelled it."
Doctor Monty: "At one point, or some point, Nikolai used to be a writer. He kept journals of his many travels in Europe. Much of it grossly exaggerated of course."
Shadowman Wisps Edit
Shadowman: "Your sins serve only as an invitation. An invitation to an evil beyond your imagination. I will lead the way. I will show you the path. Only through me, the Shadowman, will you find your redemption."
Shadowman: "You do realize that he's manipulated you? That's what he does! Dr. Monty is one of the many names he's been known by. The Great Dragon? The Beast? Is this ringing any bells? Beelzebub? Lucifer? Satan? The Devil?"
Shadowman: "He's not even a real doctor, I would know. I know what you did, Richtofen! I know you found the Kronorium. You have suffered long enough. Why do you not embrace the cool warmth of the Apothicons? All your pain, all your suffering could be at an end. That is what you want, isn't it?"
Shadowman: "Do you not see the power Dr. Monty holds over you?! Do you not see you're being deceived? I can help you! Only through me can you find salvation!"
Shadowman: "You know you really should give up. Let yourself give in. Your spirit will be absorbed into the beautiful blue light of the Apothicon Sun."
Shadowman: "You know you died a long time ago, don't you? You saw it. Didn't you realize? Are you really so foolish as to believe his lies?"
Shadowman: "You do know that Richtofen is a friend of mine. I say friend, but really he's so much more than that. At one point, I almost considered my... Apprentice. I mean he did stab my reporter friend and steal the Summoning Key. But at one point he did everything I told him to. I keep hoping he'll remember the promise he made to me, so long ago."
Shadowman: "You simple-minded fools! Do you really believe you have a chance?! This universe belongs to the Apothicons! You will be consumed! I offered you the chance to enter the beautiful blue light, and you denied my mercy?! You have followed a path marked by lies and deceit. Many others have failed, why would you be any different? This has always only ended one way. I have foreseen it."
- Monty recites The Tempest Act IV, Scene I in radio #3 and Dante's Inferno, Canto I in radio #4.
- Audio reel 2 is a continuation of a radio from Kino Der Toten.