Hi all,

let me begin by saying the multiplayer of Call of Duty: Black Ops is broken. Over the past few weeks of playing the game, some of my encounters have sculpted my frustration and disappointment into outright hatred for the game. Here is a list of things I think contribute to my unenjoyable online experience:


  • Treyarch tried to combat camping by making killstreaks not stack. For example, a player can't obtain a Napalm Strike from a double RC-XD kill. However, this change is counter intuitive. Players now have to rely entirely on gun skill to obtain higher killstreaks. When a player doesn't feel confident that their hard-earned killstreak reward can aid in getting a better one, he cowers in the corner (typically with a suppressed Famas, a baby monitor and Ghost). Now, let's rant about the specifics.

  • The RC-XD. Will you agree that the three killstreak RC car is essentially a free kill or two? Oh, that reminds of the Predator Missile, a five killstreak. This little bastard also kills Flak Jacket users.
  • The Spy Plane. Very good killstreak, except when everyone on the other team uses Ghost (we'll get into that later).
  • The Napalm Strike. A very cool killstreak, but we can all agree it's bullshit that you die when you walk through an apparent gap in the flames.
  • The Care Package. Teammates seem to spawn with their 90 rounds that they probably won't ever get to use because they either die too fast or sit in lonely seclusion. If that's the case, why do you have to flock to my damn bait care package for the ammo resupply? WHY?
  • The Blackbird. At least an eight killstreak can counter Ghost, right?!


  • Why must I complete cruel, grueling challenges for my perks just to unlock the option to spend CoD Points logo BO3000 on the Pro version?
  • First tier perks. Certainly, Flak Jacket is a very capable and balanced first perk. But why can't this armor protect you from the three-kill RC car? Ghost COMPLETELY protects you from the three-kill Spy Plane, so why can't Flak Jacket COMPLETELY protect you from the three-kill RC car? How come you can't outrun the RC car with Lightweight? Beats me. And why can you just slap on Ghost onto ANY CLASS and still be effective in combat? Because without Stopping Power, Ghost outclasses every other perk.
  • Second tier perks. Sleight of Hand is a little too powerful. This complaint is one I have never seen before, but over the past few days I have begun to have issues with SoH. Maybe SoH would be better if it offered a 66% reload speed instead of a 50%. Warlord, Hardened and Steady Aim are pretty well-rounded but none of these perks can really compete with SoH. Scout is useless. Scout Pro is godly... Why?!
  • Third tier perks. I have virtually no complaints with these perks. However, Tactical Mask could use a buff.


  • Submachine guns. I used to despise the AK-74u with Grip and Rapid Fire, but Treyarch fixed this unstoppable combo with a patch. And for that, we thank you. All of the SMG's could use a slight buff, however. For example, the PM63's pitiful 20-round magazine could easily be increased to 24 or even 30.
  • Assault rifles. So much is wrong here I could write a work that rivals War and Peace. However, for the sake of brevity (and our sanity) I will summarize the problems. (That's what you were doing before, dumbass). Right. As Smuff has pointed out on his very, very long "100 things I hate" page, the Famas and AUG are both horrifically overpowered in the sense that no other weapon can match them, even at ludicrously close range. Other assault rifles, such as the Enfield, are left to collect dust for the Famas, which, when fired, sounds like a ginormous buzzsaw raping a tectonic plate in my eardrum.
  • Light machine guns. While I would have liked to see a bit more variety in this department, the LMG's seem to be balanced for the most part. My sole complaint with these weapons is the Stoner 63's obscene fire rate.
  • Sniper rifles. Meh. That is all.
  • Shotguns. Horrifically underpowered. Shotguns can lose in a fifteen-yard engagement to a light machine gun or an assault rifle.
  • Secondaries. With the absence of shotguns and machine pistols, players are more likely to use launchers such as the Strela-3, which, when paired with the typically seen Ghost Pro, can easily destroy your Gunship.

There is much more to come; I will update this blog if I get the chance. Feel free to leave comments in agreement or disagreement with me. I will try to agree with or debate your opinions as best as possible, respectively.

Addendum 1: I agree that the community is a problem as well. However, I try to just mute the sub-human imbecile trash that delights to point out my mother's promiscuity or my homosexuality. Fuck.

Thanks for listening, chiiildren!
— Three Dog

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