As you may or may not know, I have a sister, she is dizty. The one that gets herself blind-drunk and can't remember last night, I've pulled a few pranks, but that's besides the point. She wants a gun lisence. I want a place to hide.

To show you how 'good' she thinks she is:

I was up at my cousin's house last week end, on Saturday, and my brother, my cousin and I were shooting. Just for fun, a little Diana air rifle, and my sister decides to join in. By this time she didn't have any drinks. She didn't hit a damn thing, and we were just shooting metal ducks, the kind you see at fairs. An hour later, she comes back, kind of tipsy, and finally hits the duck...after ten shots (from the air rifle). Proud with her murder of a metal duck, she goes to celebrate with more vodka. Cause that's what responsible people do, shoot and drink, cause we all know that works out well.

After 30 minutes, my cousin moved the ducks on to a slightly elevated area, the cubby/tree-house. My other brother decides to join in, as well as my father, my uncle and my cousin's little friend (I stress little). My uncle, thinking he's so damn awesome, puts aa beer bottle up on the cubby house and tells everyone to shoot the cap. We all do, my brothers, my cousin and his friend all get a pullet into the bottle on the first shot. Not a big achievement, it was only ten feet away, quite easy for me. But my sister, currently near-drunk, wants to shoot. She gets it in by a complete fluke. She's so excited. My nan, who is 80 years old, wants to shoot as well. Of course she didn't get it in, and almost shot me with it (rule 1 with guns, don't point it at another person, even if it's not loaded).

So now, my sister, thinkin she's 'teh shiz' wants to get a gun license. I'm scared, so is my dad. Because she is as dizty and a drunk bimbo, without the drinks. She wants to get the following:

  • Model 1887, I shit you not people, she wants to get them. 12 ga, lever action, what purpose would that have hunting pigs? I don't know, still trying to figure that out.
  • Single-shot, hot pink, thumb-hole stock .22 LR rifle. This one isn't so bad, the gun looks good, with the exception of being hot pink, again, what purpose would that have hunting pigs? You'd get more kills with a Bull Arab.
  • Compound bow, she's already got this one, in Australia you don't need a license to own one of these, which scares me as well.
  • A crossbow......what the fuck is she planning? To kill vampires? No, she wouldn't, she loves those pussy-footing sparklies.

So...I'm wondering, should I move up North with my other sister, or completely skip the country?

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