Hello and welcome to this guide on how to troll the CoD community. Today you will learn how to troll, so sit back and be ready to be blown away to the land of many bridges!!
Firstly, a troll hates daylight. Close the curtains and turn off all the lights. So you're in complete darkness with only the gentle hum of your console, your computer and the latest CoD music video blazing out from your turtle beaches. Only lights that should be on are your consoles, TV's, monitors and your computer's. My PC has blue LED lights in, having them is a bonus, not a must.
To look like a troll you ideally have to be going through puberty, overweight, very spotty and always wear clothing that can soak up the sweat. This works in your favour, wet clothing will keep you calm in your room; all the technology in your room will cause it to be quite warm in your command center or 'place under a bridge'.
The general diet of a troll is high fat foods, with lots of carbohydrates and caffeine (for increased reaction tines in CoD, so you're always on the ball). You must not eat anything healthy, which is usually fruits and vegetables. A large bowl of snacks should always be present on the desk, when empty a woman has to refill it ASAP.
The general set up of a troll, is a corner desk with the TV and monitor(s). Their gaming keyboard and mouse centered, and must be greased up. A mouse mat with a kitten on it must be present also. Everything has to be sweaty, yes even the TV.
On the TV there must be takeshi's castle or MW2 or BO playing. If MW2 you must be using Lightweight, Marathon, Ninja UMP. If it is BO then use Ghost, Warlord, Second Chance FAMAS or AK74u On the monitor, you have WoW playing in the background because you are gold whoring with a bot, the latest music that condones racism, hate and anti-homesexuality. In Firefox, you must have three tabs open. 1: Youtube; trolling the tube is a must, looking for the latest gameplays, montages and to see the current fastest nuke's time. Your main comepition is GUNIT, but since you're legit you don't have to worry about him. 2nd tab: a Pr0n site and finally the 3rd is the forum of your choice. BUT you can have more tabs for the forums, this is bare minimum.
Also you should be on ventrillo talking to your WoW guild members, Xfire talking to your other mates and if you have Facebook, your chatting up the ladies, with the most popular and corniest pick up lines out there. As your the best of the best, AT EVERTHING.
On forums you must always be hateful, you're always right! If they say you're not come back with the most un-original insults out there, but usually the best eg. Your mum..., Your nan...., Get good, get on my level....etc. Opinions count for nothing, this is the internet. A battleground, only the best survive, and theres only room for one g0d, YOU! You must constantly complain about black ops quick scoping untill they fix it.
I hope this very basic guide helps you, so let the sweat be with you...and go TROLL!!!!!!!!!1
See the humour in this.