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jesus christ remember that girl i told you about on that blog about whats attractive to us well she likes me. good news...no. very bad news...very bad!
well once again i have her in tears she is laughing that much...actually crying becuase there is a girl in our school who looks like a wotsit so i stole allan carrs joke that her mum fucked a wotsit and nine months later out came this living breathing wotsit. so i'm enjoying every moment until it comes to lunch. once again i'm going around with my mate peter on my normal routine chatting up different women and having a laugh until one of my mates comes out of nowhere saying she just asked him out. no one but you guys knows i like her and he's asking me what to do go out with her or another girl so what do i say "umm...stay away or i'll kill you!!!" i couldn't do anything because if i told him to go out with the other girl she'd hate me...let him go out with her then god knows how long it will go on for. i basically said "do what you want" and stormed off in foul mood. i know my friend peter figured out i like her ages ago but he knows my ego's that big i would never admit it and i would start off fighting with him if he said i did. good old peter...loyal to the end.
so two days later i thought "right no point being my usual self with her i'll just sit down and shut up" but as soon as i got in he was there she was smilling at me like she always does and i couln't hold out...i was like france, surrendering immediatly.
i make her laugh till she cries again like i always do but it felt hollow. but then she begins looking at me for like 5 minutes straight and i'm like should i say anything and embarass her or what until she said "you know matt your actually really good looking" what the hell, where did this come from? once again my ego gets the better of me and i deny any feelings towards her whatsoever and say "you know when you say shitlike that, thats what kicks off the rumours you fancied me" she then leans over and whispers to her friend something. didn't know what it was but i...aquired the information...in...forceful measures (whipping no joke lol ACTUALLY NO JOKE) until she tells me that she began to have feelings for me and still does.
i say "you slow down bitch" in my cool voice "i thought you like *cough*"
"well i do...i'm allowed to like 2 people"
"no your not" she laughs at that and i do too but inside i'm screaming "TELL ME NOW!!! WHO DO YOU LIKE MORE ME OR HIM, TELL ME NOW AND CHOOSE!!!!"
i ask why she never told me an she just said "well...because your you" meaning because i go round with pete chattin up different women and because my ego is that massive it scared her away as i would prbably have gone onto a different woman straight away but i wouldn't. i really really like her. for ten years i have but iv'e learnt to cope with it and move on but now its just too much pain to bear.
today we were in PE and she was watching both of us in PE doing long jump and she saw him do a 3.80 which so far was our best in the group so that imppressed her and made her think he's the sportty one what she din't see was me obliterate it with a 4.20 metres so i'm stuck looking like an obese whale compared to him. same last week he beat me in the 100 metres so he's the sporty one again and do you know why? because i trounced himlast time in the 200 and knackered my calf. she then went in and din't see me beat him in th 800 by 30 seconds so i have yet to impress her on the sport front.
i keep thinking show her your skills but all i have is a good sporty physique which she keeps on missing!!! i'm funny (tick) and i'm an excellent gamer but i can'tshow her that except for when we do guitar hero and i play re-education by rise against on exprt and hit every note.
but is this how all women are? to afraid to tll me anything?
so i need your help and some encouragement