MOLEMAN'S EPIC RAP BATTLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Captain John Price: •
Know I ain't a liar when I say I'm bound for victory;
Your blood will be the ink recording down this truth in history.
I'd break you with the will of but a solitary man,
But nobody fights alone, so blood brother, lend a hand!
• Captain John "Soap" MacTavish: •
I'm MacTavish, and I'm ravishing; so savage when I'm rhyming.
Ain't No Rushin' is required, yo; I spit with perfect timing!
Skilled sharpshooting Scot in prime prestige surpassing measuring;
A human Omni-tool, just like Ramirez doing everything!
Soap: Scrubbing out the worst scum of the Earth's my speciality!
P: Cross the One-Four-One, you think you're tough enough?
S: I'll shank you harder than the last Shepherd that fucked with us!
S: Good thing he came back, and Makarov was left hanging!
P: Now it's D-Day for the Normandy!
S: You're getting overthrown.
P: We're breaking through your every barrier like Joker's brittle bones.
S: The unsaddlers of Horsemen!
P: No Oasis from my vengeance.
S: Instigating Shock and Awe; dropping bombs with every sentence!
P: We're the righteous wolverines of war!
S: You're closer to a cattle.
P/S: Space cows will be harmed in the making of this battle!
• Commander Shepard: •
I've had enough of your distorted proclamations;
You're so blindly self-assured, I'd call it self-Indoctrination.
As I draw the line between us, know I'm well-prepared to hold,
'Cause if your Warfare is Modern, mine's Advanced a hundredfold!
Eclipsing you like any common pack of mercenary punks;
I even trump your Finest Hours while I'm out and getting drunk.
A Paragon before most, but I'll be tearing you to pieces!
Beat the Reapers; best believe I'll break your cycle of releases.
Even Conrad Verner thinks your rabid fans are immature;
Your games are sterile as the Genophage, so let me be the cure!
I'll maybe throw you in a Gulag, let you wither into Husks,
And then incinerate your journal of adventures; Dust to Dust.
Operation Kingfish? More like big, stupid CoD!
Your crew's about legit as Blasto or a Volus bio-god.
Watch this Spectre make a different kind of specter out of Ghost;
May have saved the Rachni Queen, but I'll be stomping out your Roach!
This battle's like Virmire: someone won't be getting out alive,
And next to this N7 Veteran, you know you won't survive.
I'll take my Cain to town and blast you back to World War Freaking Two;
Even Fox News tried to diss me more convincingly than you!
It's quantifiable; just do the math, like Project Overlord:
My skills will land your whole designer team in the Infirmary Ward.
I'm Commander Shepard, and you both can go to Hell,
Because your rapping is my least-favorite, on or off the Citadel!
• Captain Price: •
We're not extracting 'til it's settled who's a n00b and who's a Vet.
Soap: We're aiming down our iron sights, and fragging you is what they're set on.
Price: Obviated World War Three, but now it's verbal armageddon!
S: We're the Harbingers of profit for the Activision brand.
P: Just go look at our sales numbers; even Mason understands!
S: The finest in our line of Duty.
P: Rising up above the Call!
S/P: Bring your squalid squad along, we'll make a killstreak of them all!
• Commander Shepard: •
Ah, yes, "game sales": think they're the Sovereign authority?
The Council isn't even that askew with their priorities!
I'm Massively Effective when I flow to any song,
So come on down, you cowards; test me, and I'll prove the Price is Wrong.