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To be honest, I don't have a knack for formal blogs, so as they say, bear with me as I spell out my opinions along with other blogs in the endlessly expanding Wikia. This blog may sorta annoy you since all I really talk about is my utter annoyance and hatred for Treyarch's games, and a bit of MW3. If you do read all of it, I'd like to say, "Nice read, MacMillan would be impressed." Oh and "Be advised, we've encountered enemy profanity and are proceeding to comment, over."
The maps were pretty shit in my opinion. Only three maps? And Town and Farm are feautured in the ingloriously frustrating TranZit, which basically cancels out their exclusiveness of being the only maps not in TranZit. Farm is a serious disappointment, having only Galvaknuckles as the only loveable Wall Weapon and a lack of Tombstone and PAP. I mean, how many times are you gonna put up with being slaughtered in a cramped map with teammates are are almost always have deepfried shit in their brains and never make it to Round 20? Comparing this to Kino Der Toten from BO, I was a revered ZombieSlayer and can easily make it to Round 40 using NextGen's Stage Circuit that required the skills of my excellently professional 9 year old cousin. Now it seems irresponsible, letting a 9 year old play, but you really don't know his personal life, and I'm sure he could kick your ass with a respectable 1+ k/dr across all the CoD games except the original three. Now that fucking Treyarch fucked up the difficulty and Original means "treyarch i want to be fucked hardcore" and Easy is also "fuck you player, its still the same shit", getting to Round 30 must mean that you're godlike, or some entity that can cope with the bullshit of the double-hit-shit zombies can do, constant lava that stops your sprinting (even if Stamin' Up is bought), Death by Dolphin Dive from the second floor, and the shittest zombie spawn interval in the early rounds. There's also the major problem of host migration, a crap system that just kicks you out to the menu if you're not good enough to stay connected. And when I play, I skip to Round 15 because I honestly hate getting only 1000 points or less in the early Rounds since my teammates are hoarding hogs that turn into desperate dumbasses that need my skill of evading zombies to Quick Revive them. And when I get downed, its because of the most motherfucking insane idea Treyarch ever invented. Spontaneous explosion of ignited zombies. In a fucked map like Farm, there's pretty much nowhere where you won't get blasted to bits because you shot down a zombie. Killing zombies means killing zombies. Not the other way around where the points rewarded for that headshot turn into penalties that further destroy the gaming experience.
Perks and Weapons
The Perks weren't as much as a letdown, since Tombstone took care of that "oh-my-god-man-i-just-bought-those-fucking-perks" feeling and replaced it with "are-you-fucking-kidding-me-now-that-im-gone-we're-gonna-fucking-lose". The lack of Mule Kick, PHD Flopper, and Deadshot whatever its called, and a few other perks they introduced in the BO DLC really pissed me off since I was expecting BO2 to have a satisfying set of a couple maps and diverse perks and new elements to enhance the overall gameplay (and not just the fucking annoying zombies). Three fucking maps and all the usual perks made it a real waste of money for this mode, since I'm not a player that buys DLC at all because I'm just against spending $15 for a god awfully unbalanced 4 MP maps and 1 Zombie map. And in BO I was all 'bout ZombieSlaying and gibbing and had no time for Multiplayer because of the huge turn off of lag compensation. The perk Juggernog has now become a requirement, and not something you could live without, like Stamin' Up because Treyarch doesn't give a fuck about you, or me, or the problem itself otherwise we could see some nice gameplay on YouTube without the obviously needed Juggernog in the corner. In fact, I find myself doing the heavenly 6-perk glitch in Town before Round 20 even seems accomplishable every time I play because some fucktards like to EMP my Mystery Box or Perk Machince, another fucking problem that brings me closer to lighting my CD on fire. AND the absense of Thunder Gun and Wunderwaffle and Ray Gun being the only firing Wonder Weapon is a big mistake Treyarch, because now you fucked us over with normal bullets that lose their effectiveness before the fun even begins. And ABSOLUTELY *NONE* of the the fucking weapons are from 2025, and I was expecting there to be some effective and spectactular way of killing zombies in style with a next-level end-game WMD. Why thank you Treyarch, its 2025 and you gave us antique guns. The Perma-Perks were a waste, Deadshot is impossible to get unless you're lucky enough to be alive with walking zombies that take forever to align and have a gun that can STILL kill at your current Round. I only got it once, and that was with a lucky Python drop at the Box and on Round 9. It was still shit since it didn't help eradictate zombies like the holy Thunder Gun thats now made it to my zombieslaying wishlist.
The Zombies are overpowered in their unrealistic ability to seemingly evolve from being killed with a feeble knife to withstanding half my MP5 mag in just a few Rounds. Now I evidently know this game isn't scaled to represent reality but the problem it represents completely fucks away with the purpose of the MP5 as it'll be a nice non-2025 piece of shit you would waste points on. And the new players like Misty and Samuel are just fucked up all-round. Now we're stuck with another Richtofen-classed psycho and a nerd and some girl that would just LOOOVE to fuck each other on the bus. Nikolai was by far, my favourite character since he had the most appealing humor about his wives and life as an alcoholic. Tank was also a favourite because he was the incarnation of Bad-Ass. And Takeo presented some ethnicity.
BY THE GODS, UNLOCK TOKENS! TREYARCH WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING. Did they not realize that anyone who illegally bougth the fucking game early would be hailed as fucking GodsOfCod? Because they would have already discovered the obvious SMG spammage and capabilites and exploit them on Christmas Noobs and poor new players that would be discouraged from pursuing the CoD series. New players are at a huge disadvantage compared to the no-life all-day marathon-gaming players that are like, Prestige 99 or some shit because they have NO unlock tokens because they can't fucking level up due to SMG OVERUSE and NADE SPAM and SPAWN SYSTEM bullshit. Also the eternal lag compensation is a shitting bitch that likes to stop your beautiful game of 21-21 or something even achieveable as that. The Assault Shield is a piece of crap that only restricts your view and isnt effective to the Rapid Fire Scorpion Evo that will kill you before your eyes can even register that you're fucked. The MSMC is also the game-ruining gun that demolishes your team when used with UAV, and when that happens, the entire match becomes a XP Reaping of spawn killings and UAV spamming to hunt down anyone that doesnt use an SMG like the "almighty professionals with superior guns that can run you through" teams out there. The SMG issue is huge, and all my classes are fitted with one just to counter these fucking misled players that think they have skill. And the Destructoid article about math and all isn't very assuring, since Treyarch basically says, "shut the fuck up, because the gun is fine and you suck big candy ass". Eh hem, Treyarch, isn't your game supposed to be SATISFYING players who BOUGHT the game? Nice move, you just guranteed a returned BO2 game. I'd rather play ANY other game where the developers actually care about their players. Each and every map has some element in it that gives CQC an edge, and GURANTEED thats where you'll find the SMG users roaming. Even in long range, SMG still beats Snipers and that is something that outrageously fucks me over because now I cant play a S&D game with a unless I love watching my AFK teammate stand there dumbfounded when hes last alive and the bomb is 10 seconds to detonation. The host migration is terrible here too, and the rage quitting population has jumped to a degree that mindfucks me. Kinda. It makes sense because of all the issues that Treyarch probably refuses to resolve and decides to let their players just battle it out and the non-SMG losers complain and they say - and I quote from Vonderhaar - is this :: "What I'll do is I can go and look at the math and I'll go 'Actually, you know what dude? You're just good with it. Have fun, because the math says that it's not overpowered.' I have the averages, you're being successful. That means Pick 10 is working, and if it's overpowered I'll know it for real. Like not because someone said it was, or because I felt it was, or because you sent me an angry Tweet because you got killed by the SRM Shotgun one night 17 times so you're mad. The data will tell me the truth." :: And this is why I decided to return my disc. I mean, they're SUPPOSED to give the community what they want right? Otherwise whats the point of playing a game where they give you what we're not asking for? And there's ANOTHER SMG thats just waiting to be fucking players around the world, and its been dubbed 'The Peacekeeper'. To this, I say "Shit no, fuck that I'm off with IW." because MW3 is another letdown compared to MW2 but I still enjoy it because its not an ENTIRE mess. And when Multiplayer gets boring or its being a bitch and puts me in front of the enemy spawn, I can always go to Survival, Spec Ops, or even live it up Old School in the other MW games.
I cant really make a proper opinionated review about Campaign since I haven't finished it, but the Pyrrhic Victory mission was so utterly boring and had NO objectives other than 'Kill, kill, kill' and the trucks were moving SLOW AS FUCK so I wasn't enticed to complete the rest of the Campaign, and I bore through the other two missions just as a second chance for this crap introductory starter. The mission where you rescue Woods was also boring, since it seems that all intermissions where you dont start ADS and shooting bitches up take forever. And when I finally start the raping and killing, I've been bored outta my mind because the objective wasn't anything new. An idea of what I mean is like:
- Rescue ____
- Rendezvous with ____
- Use the *mother-of-all-air-weaponry* to destroy ____
- Chase some bad guy and murder his ass or chop his dick off or do something horrible to him...
- ...Like throwing a knife to his eye, or tackling him and blowing his head off, or choke him to death
At this point I kinda went really far and hadn't restricted myself to one topic and just ran after the train of thought so I'm sorry for the untidiness that came with the Multiplayer and Campaign headlines. Also, I'm way more of an Infinity Ward player than a Treyarch kinda person, in case its not obvious or we're just oblivious.. See what I did there? And I appreciate comments :) ... with clarity.