- "Cut! That's a wrap people!"
- "Worst. Death scene. EVER. Back to one, places everybody."
- "You'll never work in this town again."
- "Next time, you need to cry on cue, and die on cue."
- "That performance makes me want you to be a better actor."
- "Congratulations! You've clenched the nomination for lamest death scene in a horror movie. I'm so proud."
- "Oh my, I'm afraid this one is bound for an early digital release."
- "Oh! How far the star has fallen!"
- "You can't even die believably! I have had a mind to recast you."
- "Stop messing up my 'MASTERPIECE'."
- "Continue bleeding. More bleeding. More bleeding. And, scene."
- "The only convincing part of that performance was when you died, and if it wasn't for the gallons of your blood spilled everywhere, I don't think I would have even believed that!"
- "Thank you for ending your woefully mind-numbing performance."
- "You call that acting? You couldn't act yourself out of a paper bag. TRY AGAIN."
- "Clearly there was some mixup with the casting director, because I was under the impression I was working with real actors! AND NOT THE REJECTS from an elementary SCHOOL PLAY."
- "Hm. How can I put this... You're as dead AS YOUR CAREER."
- "Bravo. A truly uninspired performance worthy of softcore porn or CABLE NETWORK SITCOMS."
- "Auditions for the hemorrhoid commercials are next week."
- "Why am I always stuck working with amateurs?!"
- "The best thing about your performance was that IT ENDED. So I guess you got that part right."
- "You missed all your cues and flopped every line that came out of that garbage hole you call a mouth, other than that, you did great."
- "Perhaps next time you'll STICK TO THE SCRIPT."
- "I don't pay you to think. I don't pay you to act. In fact, I don't pay you at all! Which is why this arrangement worked so well, and why I'm still alive and you are dead."
- "You remind me of the cast that auditioned before you, they couldn't ACT EITHER."
- "Stars are not. Born. In arcades."
- "All actors are needed on set please! And when I say please, I mean STOP PISSING AROUND IN THE ARCADE and get on with the movie already!"
- "You know playing videogames rots your brain, right? It gives the Zombies such indigestion when they eat it, and no one wants that."
- "Cut, cut, cut! Arrgh! You're ruining this film! Why won't you just die on cue already? I knew you weren't fit for the part the moment I set eyes on you! You'll never work in this town again!"
- — After completing the easter egg.
Multiple Character Conversations Edit
Sally: Umm, like, where the hell are we?
Poindexter: I think we're somehow inside the film!
Andre: "Zombies in Spaceland"? Oh... I think I'm gonna be sick, yo.
Sally: I know, right? Your clothes... ugh. *gasps* My clothes! Ugh...
A.J.: You dweebs had better get it together. I think we got more coming.
Spawn (alternate) Edit
Wyler: Welcome. I see you've made yourself at home. Oh and how quickly you've embraced your character! Bravo!
Sally: Where are we, Willard?
A.J.: Yeah, what gives?
Andre: Hey, get us the hell out of here, man!
Poindexter: Err, where are we?
Wyler: I love the energy you're giving me right now!
A.J.: Willard man, what kind of audition is this?
Wyler: The audition of a lifetime, my boy. Now listen closely, because your next round of guests are just chomping at the bit to join you in frame. Places, everyone! Places! And... ACTION!
Between Round 3 and 5 Edit
Sally: Like why the hell is Wyler doing this to us?
Poindexter: Maybe this is a test!
Andre: Maybe he just wants to kill us.
A.J.: Why the hell would he want to do that? We're awesome! I'm awesome!
Poindexter: If we continue to work together, we can find out!
After hearing David Hasselhoff for the first time Edit
A.J.: Hey did you just hear that?
Poindexter: Someone is broadcasting in the park!
A.J.: Gee, ya think?
Andre: Yo whoever that was might be stuck here too!
Sally: For all we know, it's just some lame ass recording! I'm not about to get my brain eaten for a tape deck!
Poindexter: Not to worry, haha. They'd likely starve.
A.J.: Hey, this DJ could be our ticket out of this place.
Andre: Ey, so what are we waiting for? Let's go find this brother!